Obama on Reddit, when the servers fell. MensRights, its arms wide.

@virgiltexas Called and they said they’re putting more toner in!

Stew Trip Report: Deliciousness. I finally got over the 'stew must have carrots' falsehood, and achieved the Next Level. Turnips were TECH

@fart The ‘you can only fix one thing at a time ever’ school of thought. Care is pointless. Let’s wait together for the embrace of death.

‘B-but your TONE isn’t nice!’- A thing that invalidates everything you say and makes you worse than the problem you’re pointing out.

@socraticmrmeth And in response to something that trivial; gives a strong impression he's violent + unstable. Almost sociopathic

@diiq @heysmm I believe that's an Eldredge knot. Gorgeous, but very complicated to tie - I've spent a few hours failing at it.

Though I'm about to have some rye whiskey. Not actually a scotch. My bona fides, devastated

@dieplstks Be careful, I heard refusing to trade with him was grounds for litigation.

@heysmm @noverman12 Noah, let’s sit down and have a talk. I think you’re a little too invested in this ‘ironic racism’ business, son.

My favorite result of all the tumultuous twittering: http://t.co/N5PKeybF

A new episode of Planeswalker Asylum came out yesterday! Wherein we discuss slow-rolls, Magic trolls, and MTGOs.  http://j.mp/XVQsTn 

Being Mayor is about making sure the potholes get filled and zoning’s responsibly managed.

@capntopdeck Four.

Wandering out into the wide open world via a hashtag is a shock, you realize very different groups tweet alongside us, unseen and unheard.

"No, I don't think I'm being too condescending. By the way, to condescend means to talk down to."

Neighbors cut the gas line to my house installing their tornado shelter. Gonna padlock it the next time it gets stormy outside.

I have successfully used Mass Transit!

Lesson learned: if forced to substitute a canned ingredient for a fresh one, adjust the salt you use accordingly.

And we've jumped the shark. “@coffee_dad: drinking coffee out of my dead son's skull.”