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Millions of sperm raced to fertilize the egg that made my daughter. Reading her report card, I can't believe the best one won.
Put your money where your mouth is and your mouth where my panties are
"Sometimes I feel like a woman trapped in a woman's body" - Russian nesting doll
The government got pic of my prostate exam, and leaked it 2 the Recycler.
I feel like I'm in Gitmo, having to write in this box. Good Nite.
Now what the fuck are vegans gonna eat? http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-22462855 …
Italians: Wonderful at driving cars, suck ass at piloting ships. Even Columbus thought he was in India for Chrissakes.
Governor Chris Christie apparently used a fake name to check into his Lap-Band surgery -- as if "Mayor McCheese" was going to fool anybody.
My TED talk is now in a remix-able form. Have at it, #rootstrikers http://www.rootstrikers.org/make_corruption_your_issue …
On next week's episode of Mad Men Don goes to the lobby, Cooper sits down, and Pete makes a phone call.
"Greed is bad", tweets Pope...from is marbled, gold trimmed, palace of seclusion.
Justice department appealing the morning-after pill ruling? Seems as though they'd like the ability to undo something that already happened.
If was designing a unicorn I'd give it TWO horns but I wouldn't call it a duocorn. I'd call it Jeff, to downplay the whole dual-horn thing.
I'm fine with Titty Tuesday but Moobs Monday is giving me fucking nightmares
Opera Singer. Makeup Artist. Connoisseur of fine sarcasm. Proud Liberal and Financial Corruption Activist.