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I just hope my life is inspiring enough to be featured on Upworthy.
The dude who quoted my joke wasn't accurate. I once made love for 2 hour ten min, but it was on the day u push the the clock AHEAD (forward)
If you go trick or treating late enough you can get a lot of nice bowls.
Someone came trick or treating to my door wearing the perfect costume of a 6' tall homeless man, asking if they cud sleep over. What to do?
Had a nightmare I was thrown off the Boston red sox because I cudn't grow a beard and sent to small farm team to wrk on it.
The Olympics is a giant competition to determine whose ruined childhoods were worth it.
I'm growing out my nose.
At least we'll get a Lou Reed episode of Glee.
i like how dudes will wear beanies in such a way as if to say "it's cold ladies but as you can see i still have a hairline."
I'm a 50 yo male w/ grown children and I bought mini marshmallows today because, fuck you.
I like how Stallone and Schwarzenegger won't let the 80s go without a fight.
What kind of rat is in Burger King's pulled pork sandwich?
My latest batches of homebrew were so good, I just got commissioned to make two kegs for an engineering company's Christmas party.
it's not you, it's your podcast
Going to make shrimp/pork burgers. No particular recipe, just a mashup of ideas.
Opera Singer. Makeup Artist. Connoisseur of fine sarcasm.