Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Driving my aunts BMW today, I just indicated, fuck, now everyone knows its not mine
My auto-correct changes my "omg" to "OMG" - like calm down bro, I'm not THAT shocked
According to astronomy, when u wish upon a star you're actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams
Walk up to Capetonians on the street and say, "I love your blog!" You'll make 3 out of 5 of them very happy
I'm quite confident that the reason I am single Is because I didn't forward that chain letter in 2008
When you look at Twitter's trending topics, it's a lot easier to understand why they have to write "Do Not Eat" on silica packets
Oh, your account is protected? What do you tweet? Nuclear launch codes?
If pigs really could fly I bet their wings would taste delicious.
My ID photo basically shows what I would look like if I were a Meth Addict
Wanna know why all Hurricanes are named after woman? Cos they come in wet and wild and leave with your car and your house #irene
Not sure if you just had your face painted at Spur or if you work for MAC.
If your name is Alice, and you haven't named your lady parts Wonderland you fail at life
I am SO ANGRY, I am going to write a blog post, actually no, I am going to write an Open Letter! - Bloggers
When I get naked in the bathroom, the shower gets turned on.
Honesty is a very expensive gift, don't expect it from cheap people
Social(ly) Retarded Media Girl | Panda obsessed | Unlike Rick Astley, my tweets will probably let you down | Viking Lover | Former Fatty