So, wait. North Kores abandons their non-aggresion treaty w/So. and the only one talking about it is @youranonnews? Is this for realz?

Little Debbie is partying hard tonight. #RIPtwinkies

This is why the internet is awesome. RT @ebertchicago: A seagull stole my video camera. Video: http://bit.ly/ijHwh9

@uberfacts Where do you come up with this crap?

Dear Girl Scouts: It's Saturday night. About 11:30, take your cookies to the college dorms. Charge double. You will sell them all.

Bad Pickup Line: @mcsquealio #mctotd "Hey, I'd sure like to Occupy YOUR Wall Street!"

Feeling a little sleepy on a rainy afternoon? There's a nap for that.

#bookswithalettermissing Little Omen: a tale of four sisters, one of whom is unsettlingly "peculiar."

@pjwaldron Well, yeah, if you don't count "mellifluous."

@untresor Brandon, every time I see a tweet with your avatar I think you're a chick. Your love life may improve with a dude-ish avatar.

I don't want to brag, but I think I may have just burned a calorie.

Gentlemen Prefer Blinds #HomeMakeoverMovies

First they came for the public employee unions, but I did nothing because I was not a unionized public employee... #wiunion

Does anyone know how to tell the difference between a liver spot and melanoma? Hold up, it might be chocolate.

If you pronounce the word "miss-chee-vee-ous," you are dead to me.

@octoberjones The lightbulb has to *want* to change.

If Ryan Dunn makes the "In Memoriam" reel that's the last time I watch the Oscars.

Don't Stand So Close To Me #PoorFirstDateSongChoices

@youranonnews Appreciate the effort, but would love #anonymous to pay as much attention when rape victim is male. Those need exposing too.

@mcsquealio Paris Hilton's House Of Crabs #McTotD