Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice, are we dating?

i didn't know that favstar require reading the tweets before staring them,







this could take all night....

If i ever need your opinion,


i'll remove the duct tape.

Smart people never do stupid things,



alone.

Can i favorite my own tweet?

cause all of my tweets only faved by 2 ppl, and i'd like to get my "faved by 3 people" notification,once...

Better laid than never.

Been there, done nothing.

I didn't slap you,



I'm high fiving your face.

Don't tweet me like you don't know me,




wait,you don't know me.

its not easy being easy.

Forget LOL, i use INRLOLBTWMF; I'm Not Really Laughing Out Loud But That Was Mildly Funny

Pro tip: whenever you think you're not funny, just put boobs at the end of your tweet.



Boobs.

you're not happy,

i'm not happy,

let's just end this thing right now,






officer.

dℸǝɥ

'ʎɐʍ ǝɥʇ ʎq 'ƃuıℸıǝɔ ǝɥʇ oʇ ǝɯ pǝdɐʇ ʇɔnp ǝuoǝɯos

¡ʎɐp ɐ ʇɐɥʍ

Remember, theres always U in STFU

Dolphins are so smart!
within a few weeks of captivity, they can train human to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

current status: typing current status

69% of Facebook people never get the sarcasm language i use as my status updates, they keep liking them.

Dear men, stare at your own boobs.


Signed, every women.

You had me at "WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY STUFF?"