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  • rabbitinski
      Rabbitinski @rabbitinski

    I was going to collect homeless people, but they lose a lot of their value as soon as you take them out of their cardboard boxes.

    • 322
    • FAVS
    jannable9shesananteaterDr0p0fGoldenSun__LamplifiedrancorcuddlesSnarferniniEmilynotEmmytaviani
    • 55
    • RETWEETS
    ReluctantHpstrSnarferninimunchkin6899SpacePlanktonUgotMeFdUPPsychoticYouthunique938288405catsouppp
    llvvzzzFlyoverJoel
  • rabbitinski
      Rabbitinski @rabbitinski

    Every time I think Twitter is only for the intelligent and witty I look at the trending topics & remind myself all cities have a sewer.

    • 151
    • FAVS
    jannable9shesananteaterLamplifiedMmeNaztyClassyHooliganburried_secretsSherBoBerrancorcuddles
    • 26
    • RETWEETS
    ClassyHooligan1evilidiotsexymisanthropeSherBoBerSnarferniniughcoffeecarlykenJaneDozey
  • rabbitinski
      Rabbitinski @rabbitinski

    4th grade daughter randomly asked: Would you rather be rubber or steel? Me: You have a bright future making Facebook quizzes.

    • 156
    • FAVS
    jannable9shesananteaterGinRumMeSpacePlanktonllvvzzStella1070Shock_MonsterOutOfLeftField_
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    SpacePlanktoncarlykengneiccoella__fraserJoJoCarnes23dawarlordd________koqutoSimplyCecilia
  • rabbitinski
      Rabbitinski @rabbitinski

    Ironically, I resisted having a cellphone for years & laughed at people who couldn't live w/o them. Well played Karma, you're still a bitch.

    • 141
    • FAVS
    jannable9shesananteaterLamplifiedSpacePlanktonllvvzzStella1070Shock_Monsteraclarke207
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    aclarke207PrairieOutlawcarlykengneiccodawarlordd________favstar1000favsvevice____________DawnLovesZombie
  • rabbitinski
      Rabbitinski @rabbitinski

    Hell is having ADD with OCD. Not only are you distracted by all the shiny things, you have to make sure they are spotless.

    • 122
    • FAVS
    jannable9shesananteaterDr0p0fGoldenSun__LamplifiedSpacePlanktoncynthiadelariallvvzzStella1070
    • 13
    • RETWEETS
    aclarke207TAKirklydiadeeeeeeetzTraciegilacarlykenfavstar1000favssmaccersClockCouchTime____
  • rabbitinski
      Rabbitinski @rabbitinski

    You may be hitting rock bottom but you're making a damn racket on my ceiling.

    • 110
    • FAVS
    jannable9shesananteaterspankYOface13curiousteejSpacePlanktonllvvzzStella1070writerjasonkaye
    • 18
    • RETWEETS
    spankYOface13SpacePlanktonpaigeofmylife____Drink_Mixxerscarletvitattafavstar1000favsitspat78mshano13
    kattcalls________gneicco
  • rabbitinski
    • 69
    • FAVS
    jannable9shesananteaterStella10701evilidiotcarlykenlorlorlori________kyle_thatisallllvvzz
    • 57
    • RETWEETS
    saffronmaycosmicprimitiveCourtAndThingsWavyDavy1010ANDEEmisner_ashlar36MonMulLoveCandiceAnn
  • rabbitinski
      Rabbitinski @rabbitinski

    Women! I don't want to hear how much labor hurts. I was shot in the left nut by a paintball gun 3 ft away. I had to lie down for an HOUR!

    • 98
    • FAVS
    jannable9Spike50Pikekraynazejantrewolfley_casabiusMystique1975noduffers
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    EngineerAndHalffullmoonmartininoduffersKatalina_Kate_shesananteatergneiccodawarlordd________Favstar500Favs
  • rabbitinski
      Rabbitinski @rabbitinski

    I'm not staring at your boobs, my spirit animal is caught in your headlights.

    • 70
    • FAVS
    jannable9RockKrallerheadedtospace____kristipixiedanjan13SassyStace823VenusRockHobbitAggregateArgot
    • 32
    • RETWEETS
    AggregateArgotMiVidaMamaAnnJanetta1carlykenHawgLegHendrixsouthbaysueDr0p0fGoldenSun__Favstar500Favs
  • rabbitinski
      Rabbitinski @rabbitinski

    My daughter had Pajama Day at school recently. It's nice to see the schools preparing the next generation for unemployment..

    • 76
    • FAVS
    jannable9shesananteaterLamplifiedllvvzzStella1070fitmom_oddminislapaigeofmylife____
    • 16
    • RETWEETS
    minislapaigeofmylife____itspat78VenousRisingMonty_G_BiscuitTableNumber6RachhWetklowcarlyken
  • rabbitinski
      Rabbitinski @rabbitinski

    Reality checks never bounce.

    • 81
    • FAVS
    jannable9llvvzzStella1070OutOfLeftField_lorlorlori________wesleybordelonKevinDeanGanderlove_shunt
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    stupiddumbnicegneiccoIvsy01Kods1983ella__fraser__iCE_CREAM__StopNC4closureSOULREBEL7777
  • rabbitinski
      Rabbitinski @rabbitinski

    Still searching for a way to monetize disappointing people without actually entering politics.

    • 78
    • FAVS
    shesananteaterllvvzzOutOfLeftField_lorlorlori________stupiddumbnicelove_shuntTerdoh____________swingcrusader
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    TipYourHatswingcrusadergneiccoFavstar500Favsmytweecwetlife____MrBigFistsjuicymorsel
  • rabbitinski
      Rabbitinski @rabbitinski

    An attractive woman just smiled back at me as we passed in the intersection. This may invalidate my whole theory about being invisible.

    • 75
    • FAVS
    LuistsevenshesananteaterLamplifiedllvvzzStella1070OutOfLeftField_FussySaffalorlorlori________
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar500FavsNOLAComedynixlynchAspersioncast
  • rabbitinski
      Rabbitinski @rabbitinski

    The brighter you are the dimmer your view of the world.

    • 54
    • FAVS
    LamplifiedStella1070OutOfLeftField_lorlorlori________kyle_thatisallJaneDozeyWhoopdeedoo22adamsiray
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar500Favsadamsirayameo02pinnyratfavstar_popkooldennyLRenoirbarner
    the_anastasia
  • rabbitinski
      Rabbitinski @rabbitinski

    My problem is I have *just* enough talent and charisma to never be reality tv star.

    • 64
    • FAVS
    shesananteaterLamplifiedllvvzzlorlorlori________kyle_thatisallwesleybordelongneiccoJaneDozey
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Favstar500Favs
  • rabbitinski
      Rabbitinski @rabbitinski

    The one thing about living alone again I'm most looking forward to is the constant nakedness.

    • 63
    • FAVS
    shesananteaterLamplifiedllvvzzStella10701evilidiotVIKINGTHUGlorlorlori________kyle_thatisall
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Favstar500Favs
  • rabbitinski
      Rabbitinski @rabbitinski

    Disposing of a dead Christmas tree is always a little traumatic for the kids.
    I may have overdone it with the chalk outline and coroner.

    • 54
    • FAVS
    shesananteaterLamplifiedllvvzzStella1070FussySaffalorlorlori________kyle_thatisallwesleybordelon
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar500FavsClockCouchTime____BeaBonoboMelindaHilemanMitchWritesdaniel14159stacilin94juicymorsel
  • rabbitinski
      Rabbitinski @rabbitinski

    You can't find happiness at the bottom of a bottle because that usually means your prescription has run out.

    • 52
    • FAVS
    shesananteaterDr0p0fGoldenSun__llvvzzStella10701evilidiotlorlorlori________wesleybordelonAlex_Vincent_
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar500Favsathenaa1FUNNAGANgneiccosawaboof
  • rabbitinski
      Rabbitinski @rabbitinski

    Want to draw a perfect spiral? Hold a pencil at arms length as your life goes down the drain.

    • 43
    • FAVS
    shesananteaterLamplifiedStella10701evilidiotlorlorlori________kyle_thatisallllvvzzwesleybordelon
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    TheMidnightAcemariaamilfcamuscindyCreeNdn81________cambsfan1966ZackCasavantLaurieKruczek1Dimitri
    the_anastasia
  • rabbitinski
      Rabbitinski @rabbitinski

    Relationship status: I've already eaten the ears.

    • 35
    • FAVS
    shesananteater1evilidiotAmerican_xllvvzzTweeetmebadthissillygirlCabbageNewssplendidly_dull
    • 18
    • RETWEETS
    tkuz4uwhitey0nthem00nGenghis_DongUhOhItsPookieCtchandler247UghNotAgainSwampFoxSlybucmachine
@rabbitinski

@rabbitinski

Project all your positive traits onto me in this space.