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Me via text: when does a fart become a hate crime?
Husband: I'm not coming home tonight.
Facebook. The coolest place in town! Just ask my mom, my boss, or my local news station.
Discovered my husband knows the words to "Achy Breaky Heart"...
Insert your own punchline while I find a new place to live, assholes.
@blackbeltjonz I only "get to know" them by race & from afar. You know, enough to make up a nickname...
Favorite past time #4:
Watching TV stars as they go from "I need work"-skinny to complacent-chubby.
I Can't Believe It's got such shitty spoke-ladies....
I might hate "butter" now.
Is it considered 'hoarding' if you're DVR is full and you ask questions like "can't I just have another box so I can keep all these shows?!"
"This can-opener doesn't work" responses:
Dating: "Sorry, let's get you a new one."
Married: "You sure you're using it right?"
To the girls in their 20's who "love" Tom Waits:
We get it.
We admire your commitment...
He's probably going to fuck you anyway.
It's ok.
WWE: equal opportunity monologuing. English your second, third, or fourth language? Love Monologues but failed drama class? No problem!
Stats can't be shown as @rachamay has never signed in to Favstar.
