@radi0chik's (Melissa) most faved Tweets...
Yay! I finally taught my cat to "sit" and "stay" Related: how do I get superglue off hardwood floors?
There's a man ringing doorbells and exposing himself to homeowners. Tomorrow's headline should read: dingDONG
I got this new deodorant.
The instructions said remove cap and push up bottom.
I can't walk, but whenever I pass gas, it smells awesome!!!
The instructions said remove cap and push up bottom.
I can't walk, but whenever I pass gas, it smells awesome!!!
When Bernie Madoff does it it's a Ponzi Scheme and he goes to jail. When the government does it, it's called Social Security and it's ok.
Someone asked me today who my favorite purple dinosaur is. I'm having a hard time deciding between Barney and Brett Favre.
Last night I lay in bed, looking up at the stars in the sky and then i asked myself: where the heck is the ceiling?
Stop the presses! Breaking news! Obama wins the Heisman Trophy after watching a college football game.
Overheard on the police scanner earlier: Grapevine police responding to reports of "a large beaver blocking public roadway". heh heh *snort*
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There's a rumor going around today that it's my 30th birthday. This is incorrect. It's the 1st anniversary of my 29th birthday. Thank you.
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There's a big monster coming up my street! It has two big eyes and growls! It eats everyting in its path!What do you mean "trash truck"?
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I just gave the cats baths. Shopping list: Bandaids, new towels, a new shower curtain, and my dignity. The latter may be hard to find.
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If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible...
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