@rafitorres' (Rafael Torres) most faved Tweets...
Melanie Griffith's publicist announced she is going to rehab. This is surprising; why would Melanie Griffith still need a publicist?
What a coincidence. Trojan condoms' new slogan is "feels like nothing's there," the same thing my wife says to me during sex.
In movies, characters who hate each other end up in love. In reality, though, it'd be absurd for me to marry my company's entire sales team.
People are now debating whether the correct term should be "unfriend" or "defriend." Related: is it "I ungive" or "I degive a crap"?
A drawing by Raphael sold for $48M at auction. This is incredible, considering he's one of the lesser known Ninja Turtles.
I met some amazing people through Favrd, people I'm proud to call "my friends." And now they're dead. They're ALL DEAD!!!! #thankyoutextism
A paranoid monkey, a scary clown, and a big red dildo walked into a bar. Bartender says, "Good evening, Mr. Glenn Beck."
Know in films when you shut the medicine cabinet and the killer's in the mirror behind you? Did this to my wife. Don't do this to your wife.
Mark my words, people.
Today: Adobe Photoshop for the iPhone.
Tomorrow: Adobe Updater for the iPhone.
Today: Adobe Photoshop for the iPhone.
Tomorrow: Adobe Updater for the iPhone.
Fact: It's only after the third round of Public Restroom Macarena that you realize the motion-activated towel dispenser is broken.
When I heard Saab was closing down, the tears ran down my neckbeard and into my elbow-patched tweed jacket.
Sarah Palin says presidency is "not on her radar screen." She is, however, moving to DC so that she can see it from her backyard.
Beach question: Does urine really work for jellyfish stings? And why did the guy I just peed on make air quotes around "jellyfish sting"?
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