People know kids are optional, right?

Dude stole my tweet but he needed it more than me.

It's not sex, it's naked poetry.

Life's been going pretty good lately. I'm thinking about screwing it up by asking someone out.

I hate it when I accidentally love you again.

Every woman is a mystery to be solved.

Women are totally harmless. Right up until the very moment you fall in love with them.

It's never too late to tell someone that you didn't actually love them.

Wake up. Be awesome. Go back to sleep.

I hate it when people.

Make love, not fall in love. Everything that falls, gets broken

I don't fall in love, I jump out.

Life is journeying from one beer to another.

It's a sad and happy thing. But I will always love you.

What goes around trolls around.

You're still out there somewhere in my subconscious mind.

Give her attention, or bitch will go and fuck someone else.

For some, there is a heart where there was a heartache.

My mood totally depends on your behaviour.

No more tears, my heart is dry. I don't laugh and I don't cry. I don't think about you all the time. But when I do, I wonder why.