GUESS WHAT? I am on Day 8 of Insanity. Never though I would make a week into the damn program with all the crap happening. But I am! :D

@syphylicia just for the record, I meant it was hard to believe you're still single because you look like an angel.

@syphylicia You're still single?? Damn..

Why do people hate Nicholas Cage so much?! I like his movies.

Girls with sunglasses scare the Shit out of me because I don't know if they're staring at me.

@syphylicia Took me a minute to realize they were flowers, and cats, in the background! :) #Lookingfly

“I always knew looking back on my tears would bring me laughter, but I never knew looking back on my laughter would make me cry.”-Cat Steven

They say during sex you burn as much calories as running 5 miles. Who the fuck runs 5 miles in 30 seconds?

69...some call it "nasty", I call it dinner for two! ;) haha

My fantasy is having two women at once... one cooking, one cleaning.

Pouring out one ibuprofen."nope, I need two." pour out two. "eh, let's go three" pour out three. "four?...yes!" *dumps out 7549..."fuckkk"

I wish I could talk to someone without being judged. I wish I had a pet.

@syphylicia Hahahahah! Mine too!

It's always the smiling, and funny ones that are the most depressed. :)...

You're pants are around your ankles walking holding your crotch. You think you're "gangsta"? No sir, you are a faggot.

Sometimes I wonder: Are you 6 months pregnant or just plain fat?

@syphylicia Not complaining or anything, just curious! :) But they are funny!

@syphylicia You know I could speak puuursian aka persian. True story. :)

Lmao re-runs still make me laugh!! #seinfeld

The awkward moment when your only friend is an oreo. #doublestuff