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Dave & Busters: where parents regret having children in the first place
What this Bat Mitzvah cocktail party needs is bacon wrapped scallops.
Pro Tip: turn your keyboard clicks "off" when tweeting during a high level, strategic meeting.
There's nothing like a 4-hour team building training to make a beautiful May Friday feel like a February Tuesday.
"Suspect in custody." Best three words ever.
Peace and quiet. That's what we all want.
RIP Beach Blanket Bingo
Like Exxon, there's a cease and desist order against posting photos and videos of me between ages 12-15.
RIP The Preppy Look
So, apparently a leavening coma *is* a thing.
Social networking: when I turn to Twitter to check if Tumblr is still down.
Thinking about adopting a conclave of cardinals method of communicating when I make important decisions. White smoke = burritos for dinner!
If there's one thing I've learned from Jane Austin books, it's to avoid people coughing blood into their fancy lace trimmed handkerchiefs.
Why aren't more Bar Mitzvahs held in bars?
My primary Sunday activity will be to match the dog fart for fart. So far it's going very well. *faints*