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enjoyable as it is to watch the Tea Party drive the Republicans off a cliff, it sucks that the view is from the backseat.
"Dude, you're too old to be of interest to cougars" is something I tell myself sadly while clubbing but happily while backpacking.
I fucking love science. And profanity. Profanity a little bit more, tbh.
if you leave me a voicemail I'll consider you a monster and never speak to you again
nothing else turns me into a wild-eyed anarchist ready to smash the state as the annual HR self evaluation and performance review
kind of sad how nothing is 'da bomb' anymore
There's so much I want to tell her, really pour my heart out to her but the emoji hasn't been released for Android yet.
"We Built this City on Rock and Roll" explains why the current infrastructure is such shit
Live each day like it's the Mayan apocalypse
Why do we yell at children to tell them to stop yelling? Because it works.
the fact that I know what S.H.I.E.L.D stands for makes me question what I've been doing with my life
Forensic accountant has to be the most exciting name for a boring job. Software architect is a close second.
people who go on about "common sense" are usually pretty stupid
nothing destroys the illusion of being a grownup quite as much as packing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch
the way things are going this weekend I might as well be somebody's sobriety coach
The world is my oyster and I'm allergic to shellfish.
Anything you can complain about on the Internet is a first world problem.
not too proud to admit I've gotten used to sleeping on top of power cords and usb cables
Stop trying to make work anniversaries a thing, linkedin. It's not going to happen.