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i put on deodorant AND brushed my teeth
ive never seen a bird shit this bad its like someone dumped a carton of milk from the sky. unbelievable. bird needs doctor
beware of fuckboys
i have got murdered. u shake my dying body and yell "please! who did this to u!!" with my last breath i whisper "ur mom... haha owned..."
as jesus said, "fuck the poor. let them starve and die for all i care," as he sped away on his yacht
please everyone send me your "top ten albums of 2013" lists so i can print them all out and throw them in the garbage
u have been stranded on a desert island for months and see a plane overhead for the first time. excitedly u draw a huge dick in the sand
THIS SHIT HAPPENS TO WOMEN EVERY DAY. "JUMP THROUGH THESE IMPOSSIBLE HOOPS TO SUCCEED. OH YOU MADE IT? WELL YOU LOSE ANYWAY"
congrats to tori amos for the lyrics "so you can make me cum, that doesnt make you jesus" still the sickest burn of all time
some shit is happeneding i dont u derstand
im a fake geek girl. i was synthesized in a lab. i am made of math and science. i cannot be defeated
even on the internet, where you could pretend to be anyone you want, some people still choose to be unpleasant shitbags
RT IF YOU'RE TERRIFIED BUT PRESSING AHEAD REGARDLESS
wildly swinging your penis around for no real reason in front of your partner is a sign of trust
"Bitch Make Me A Sandwich" - The Boring Man's Guide To Gaining Approval From Other Boring Men
why do i always see critiques of misogyny in rap but never critiques of misogyny in indie rock. just kidding i know exactly why
i want that shitty jerk paper clip tattooed on my ass saying "looks like you're trying to fuck me"
remember ALL dads have mustaches. if your dad does not, he is NOT your real dad. be aware.
all i want is for people to think im weird and fucked up enough so that they leave me alone but also find me attractive and likeable
i got to work and parked with no problem or delay. thanks guys prayer works and god is real