@rationalists' (CJ Werleman) most faved Tweets...
The problem with Twitter is that when I bomb with a joke there's no one to hold me. There should be a 'Hug' icon nxt to 'Star'
"I'm going to provide free healthcare for America" BOOOO!..."We are going to bomb Durka-Durkastan back to the stone age" YAY!
I hate when my wife wants to talk after sex, especially with the costs of long distance calls these days.
Isn't time we stop demonizing Eve for eating the apple, and begin praising her for inventing, most likely, the blow job? #atheism
PRO-TIP: When making love to a blow-up doll, be sure to put in a good performance. I've seen 'Toy Story', & they talk!
Me: "Ha! In your face. You will never beat me at Chess. EVER." Daughter: "I'm only 8." Me: "You're such an ageist."
It was my bday. My mum forgot. My wife forgot. My friends forgot. So I went home and had a wank. God I hate surprise parties!
If Twitter is truly a meritocracy, then can someone please explain to me why Dane Cook has millions of followers?
I once took an escort to dinner but she refused to drink anything, which I guess proves the adage that 'you can lead a whore to water but..'
My wife just informed me that last night while on the dance floor, I had my repulsion set to high.
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