I can't remember what I had for lunch yesterday but I still remember that you took my last piece of gum without asking three years ago.

Not sure if I want a boyfriend or just someone to pay for all the food.

I wonder what donuts would sound like if they were alive

Ever get that feeling of wanting to both slap and hug the same person at the same time?

"He's so cute. Let's hope he won't turn into an asshole when he grows up" is apparently not something to say to the parents of a newly born.

I woke up late so I had all breakfast, lunch and dinner together. We get three meals a day. I know my fucking rights.

Please do keep complaining about people complaining because fuck common sense.

If I ever have to run for my life I'll probably die from running before whatever it is I'm running from.

A diet but for feelings

It's only what's on the inside that matters....and how much money you have...and what you look like...and the people you talk to.

Can we just stay in and watch movies and cuddle and eat and laugh and cry

"Msh adra azaker hatla3 ra2asa"
"Lazem tekhesi el awel"
"Baheb el mozakra 3amatan"

Sometimes I look at my phone and giggle so my mom can think that I actually have friends.

Had 3ayezni asalefo 10 kilo?

If you don't giggle every time someone says 'pianist' then shame on you.

Being in love with the feeling of being in love is not the same as actually being in love. Learn the difference.

A crepe is like a normal snack but filled with loneliness and depression.

Good news, I've switched from overeating to over-drinking. Bad news, it's really hard to stay depressed when you keep having to pee.

You wound yourself then call yourself the victim.

I was feeling a bit depressed so I ordered pizza. Now I'm both depressed and full. Don't tell me I can't multitask.