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My neighbor got a limo for their kid's 8th grade graduation, apparently Billy Madison is real and lives in my apartment building
I heard Kanye's song 'New Slaves' I think it's about him hating the zoning laws of the iPhone Factory he bought in the Hamptons
Beyonce & Jay Z, second baby name guess; Girl: Green Rose; Boy: Yellow Spinach
David Beckham retiring from soccer will allow him more time to focus on his career of being photographed shirtless
Angelina Jolie doesn't want her boobs, thankfully a family in Cambodia adopted them
Angelina Jolie had her breasts removed, thus explaining the party confetti that covers Jennifer Aniston's house
If not for draft beer, I'd never get any head :(
Tim Tebow blackballed by NFL; blueballed by God :(
The porn site I buy videos from is having a Mothers Day sale, Happy Friday!
The Great Gatsby & Jay-Z, I hope this music and literature collaboration fares better than the R. Kelly/Lolita experiment
Today, I met a seven year-old named Dick; Allow me to rephrase that, I met a kid who had the world's worst parents
I just reprimanded a kid for calling another kid 'Dick' only to find out the kid's name is Dick. Dick's parents suck
Reason to be suspicious of the Castros in Cleveland; Three Puerto Rican brothers that were 'NEVER LOUD' for over ten years??
Joe Francis from Girls Gone Wild is going to jail, for $9.99 u can buy a DVD of his cellmates welcoming him
Lindsay Lohan says she isn't a junkie and that her only problem is timing; So, the street name for cocaine is 'timing'?
Honey Boo Boo’s Mama June is marrying Sugar Bear today; If you want to buy them a gift, they’d like a his and hers Dialysis Machine
amazing and humble comedian http://t.co/xo7ngUBm