Saw a man who wouldn't wait for the green light, so he waved a key ring laser pointer and walked. I was impressed. The cars didn't get it.

Rhetorical questions should be illegal! You can't win an argument once a rhetorical question has been posed! You want a better world, right?

While jogging I spotted a norwegian blue seagull breathing fire. I guess! Anyhow I dodged something invisible. People did stare! How rude!

Movie script nearly done! I have a role for Schwarzenegger as Einstein opposite Stallone as Bohr. Can Arnold do a Deutsch accent?

Cut a chili pepper. Scratched nose. Committing Error to memory, repeatedly.

Rah rah ah-ah-ah!
Ro mah ro-mah-mah
Gaga Ooh-la-la!
Nunchaku romance!
Not sure what lady Gaga sings about but I think it's about ninjas.

Driving in snow. Check. Frost and ice on your windshield. Sure! Cellphone in one hand. Stay tuned. Sir, I believe you are an idiot.

Heard a tune clearly inspired by the Black Eyed Peas. Although they didn't nail the Wernicke's aphasia lyrics, the headache still kicked in!

Oh noes! I missed the start of Waterworld, now it's probably gonna suck!

Wow mister!, the manoeuvre where you obviously pulls your thong out of your ass is reserved for the ladies! We have the crotch thing!

Yesterday was freezing and windy, I spotted 3 girls in a row in miniskirts. LEVEL UP! Next level: Spot a pair of elephants on skateboards

I'm THE person you ask for help in a coin laundry. With these skills I hope to start a hobo consultancy or I might just be the next Oprah!

I long for a world without poverty, without illness and war. But could we at least have no more Black Eyed Peas

Forgot my cellphone. I'm on msn and psylink. On psylink I use a combination of your mum and darth vaders voice. Please drop in.

Guess I made the curry spicy enough. Crying. And my tears itch.

My nephew were watching teletubbies, he kept saying dipsy. It told him it was deepshit. He picked it up. Where is that memory eraser dev ...

Saw to girls communicate in sign language. It looked like arguing. But I didn't know any of the signs, so they didn't use foul language

Michael Maze new European Champion in table tennis. Headline in papers: "A-Maze-ing". Pulitzer prize in sports is called: "Worst Abortion"

Based on the sound my colleague's phone just made, I guess he leveled up! Congrats!

Oh noes! My Xbox is updating again! Please MS , this time can we get less wii, and more... you know... Evil.