ABC, you keep using that word, "Stars." I don't think it means what you think it means...

Your clever observations amuse me. I shall collect them, follow you and put you on a list. Do not be alarmed. This really is a thing.

Driving home. Listening to NPR story on driving & texting. Updating my Twitter sta

How can we convice someone of the value of Health Reform, when they are still upset we passed the Civil Rights Act?

Please don't judge me, there is a perfectly logical explanation for why I'm wearing cargo pants today.

Stop. Just... stop. You had me at 'Free Continental Breakfast.'

IT is taking the network down for a couple hours so can you guys just fax me your tweets and I'll star them later?

If a person's sole accomplishment is a 'Reality' TV show, you are not allowed to refer to them as "Star" or "Celebrity" in later shows.

Judging from the # of stars, my social anxiety disorder is much more interesting than my political ideology.

I can't help but wonder if I'll still go to Heaven when I star that Tweet...

Just checked and most Prius owners have appropriately sized sexual organs, but CAN be douchebags when asked about it.

Try as I might, I just can't convince my kids Bon Jovi was ever cool.

Guys? Uh, um..... Hey, guys? Be REALLY quiet for a sec...


shhhh...



SHHHH!



I think the Twitter just became self-aware.

Confession: you know that guy that makes a phone with his pinky and thumb and mouths "call me"? Yeah, I'm that guy sometimes.

[will tweet for stars]

All I want for Christmas is a necktie the color of drawn butter.

Yes, Target Check-out Lady, the Itunes gift card and DS game are for my daughter's 12th Bday, the Miley Cyrus autobiography- that's all me.

hurrumph... back in my day, our montages only came with Kenny Loggins music, AND WE LIKED IT!

I hate Reality TV so much: Just to spite my wife I've put on 13 lbs while she's been watching this season's "Biggest Loser"

Using "product placement" to monetize my Twitter: #pepsi #nike #massengil