A million dollars isn't cool. You know what's cool? An army of dogs that you can control

i watched a TLC show about a dude who was addicted to pizza and i broke the TV when i tried to fist pound it

Super hilarious parody you pointed me here to. I like how it's Harry Potter but it's also things from the news I understand. I'm 8 years old

You ever think "Damn, Nas released Illmatic at 20; I'm 20 and my crowning achievement is meeting the black Ghostbuster"? No? Just me?

Up at 3:30 AM doing Rick Ross grunts

"It hurt, being so addicted to weed," recounts Nirvana drummer Dave Grohl. "It hurt even worse losing Kurt Cobain to a weed overdose."

get this...the kriss kross guy...he wore his clothes backwards. so what if they bury him in a backwards suit? *miles away, jay leno laughs*

if you're a hockey player & beat the shit out of another human they just stick you in a plastic cage for a couple minutes, that's fuckin rad

Kramer smokes bath salts and murders Newman; Jerry and Elaine are stuck in the Chipotle line #updatedseinfeld

Siri, why is Jadakiss as hard as it gets. Why is the industry designed to keep the artist in debt, Siri.

My WWE wrestler name would be Fuckman and my gimmick would be that I literally fuck other wrestlers in the ring

Mr. West can you show me exactly WHERE on the doll that shit was cray?

does the bangbus have those little stop signs on the side that come out when ladies get on & off

Hanging out with old folks is wack. They do idioms like "it aint peanuts is it?". I don't know what that means

Idea: Mad Men but it stars Ray Lewis as Don Draper. Everything else is the same.

"Teen with big tits and dirty moth fucks on webcam" damn they weren't even kidding thats one dirty ass moth. pretty big sucker too. nice vid

"Mr Flanders is wanted Ned or Alive" - an actual text message i sent while drunk last night

Poor Danny Brown yo. Gets hit with lemons, gets resounding boos. My dude just wants to rap about eating pussy in peace.

@boring_as_heck is breaking amish the one about the meek schoolmarm who begins illegally machine-churning butter to provide for her family

Things to look for in debate tonight: 1) seinfeld cameo 2) obama rubs nose [terrorist signal] 3) romney's pockets stuffed w/ m&ms