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Here's a picture of me and my boyfriend! *pic of me with pizza* Aw, here's us kissing! *pic of me eating pizza* He's so sexy! *pic of pizza*
Live every day like Maury told you it's not your baby.
Whenever I'm having a bad day I remember my track record for surviving bad days is 100% so far and honestly that's pretty damn reassuring.
"Don't wear that, you'll give people the wrong idea." What idea? That I'm fine as hell? That ain't an idea, that's a fact.
The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I asked for pizza.
I call cakes big ol’ cookies. I call noodles long-ass rice. Root beer is super water. Tortillas are bean blankies. And forks... Food rakes.
Lady in the streets and asleep in the bed.
How many friend-zoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just sit and compliment it and get mad when it doesn't screw.
If I can't walk down the aisle to "International Player's Anthem" I don't want to get married.
XOXO, Gossip Girl. *seductively saunters into oncoming traffic*
Some days you just feel like a sad white person failing at tasks in an infomercial.
Sometimes Twitter feels like when you've said something funny but a loud bus passed so no one heard you.
I wish running came naturally to me, but it doesn't. Cupcakes do
May your lips be always pouty, your cheeks always bronzed and your winged eyeliner always symmetrical.
"Last time I chased a nigga I ran into a better one."
One man's trash is another man's daughter.
Somebody cares. Not me, but somebody.
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