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I must've waxed myself about a brazilian times.
My exercise program consists of having a lot of stairs in my home and forgetting things.
If we keep making fun of gingers, I swear one day they're going to snap.
All my exes were followed by whys
What I lack in imagination, I make up.
Business idea: a home surgery kit called Suture Self.
Evidently my admirers are all secret.
I'm crazy like on Fox.
If it weren't for The Safety Dance, they'd be Men Without Hits.
I wonder if Tom Cruise has an ego altar.
Back in college, I used to hang a sock on the doorknob when I wanted to signal my roommate that I had no idea how to fold laundry.
This one's for all you self-actualized people out there. You know who you are.
I have this stabbing pain in my victim.
I have a feeling that Victoria's "secret" involves bulimia and diet pills.
If my Best isn't good enough, try my Recent.
I float like a butterfly and sting like a butterfly.
I now pronounce you slowly and phonetically.
I made a dry martini at a wet bar and drank in the irony.
Televangelists are preaching to acquire.
I'm just playing hard to take.