"@footballfunnys: Frank Lampard spotted here playing cricket. http://t.co/EB1D2toC" HAHAHAAHA

"@denzelabstract: Funniest thing I've ever heard is a man riding a bike and his girlfriend running behind him. Not even a backie." LOOOL

"@uberfacts: Winnie-The-Pooh’s real name is actually Edward Bear." Whattttttttttttttt

"@lukehoostawking: "I was suspicious when a fake nail came off in my vagina" #TheGirlWhoBecameThreeBoys" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

"@mrslapyourself: Tamwar needs a new personality for Eid. #Eastenders" LOOL

"@uberfacts: Beethoven was once arrested for looking like a tramp." Ahahhahahahahahahhahahaahahahhahahahahahahahaha

@nocturnalnazi 's pic NAH DPMO kfchjmhjdhjtjkd *elbow drops bb* IM DONE I FUCKING QUIT I MEAN IT THIS TIME

"@whattheffacts: Even if you have a perfect and normal vision, there exists two colors that you have never seen." SIX CUBIC INCHES OF GAS!

"@mrexposed: Want Her To Respect You? Slump Her Dad. She'll Know You're A Real Nxgga". Hgfgjghjfgvj

"@doniswavy: @1sconnolly1 CAN I USE UR AVI IN AS FRONT COVER 2 MY UPCOMIIN BOOK "BEMUSED PEADO IN VINEYARD" PLS?" HAHAHAHAHS @seancarter93

"@lukehoostawking: How many films are there in The Godfather Trilogy" hahahahahhahaha

#liesgirlstell 'your willy is big' no its not don't try and save my feelings :(

I get the hint

I said with me baby, you don't have to worry

I'm hoping my sister is staying at her mates so I can eat her dinner, I'm gonna pencil it in for about 23:30

Next time a girl puts it on me I'm gonna say no I want to take it slow let's just hug and see what happens

I want a sippy cup like a toddler

Generic tweet about hating generic tweets about generic tweets #generic

Some people have weird criteria for a gf/bf. They MUST have piercings/tatss/3 nipples etc. Just find someone nice who respects you first

'Going bed with a smile' = New willy.