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One day, you’re 17 and you’re planning for someday. And then quietly, without you ever really noticing, someday is today.
Matt Damon is preparing himself for the largest bro hug of his life right now. #Oscars
"I always wondered why somebody didn't do something about that, then I realized I am somebody."
Spent my Super Bowl party in the bathroom throwing up Jambalaya, which oddly looks the same coming out as going in. #worstsuperbowlparty
"Must See TV?" "Never heard of it." Love the inside jokes on @cougartowntbs.
If ABC cancels @happywrites to give me Celebrity Diving I will literally need someone to hold my hoops as I sharpen my fighting nails.
This scene between @mattletscher and @freemaofficial is by far one of my favorite in the series so far. #TheCarrieDiaires
Remember when Bob Marley sang Locked Out of Heaven? Me either. #Grammys
Well that Calvin Klein commercial just made me put down this chip. Message received.
#HowIMetMyBestFriend I perused the aisles for hours, searching, seeking. Finally, like a light from Heaven above, there she was - Moscato.
You think I'm an equal citizen, America? You like me? You really like me? #Obama2012
The treadmill I ordered when I was high on NyQuil the other night was just delivered to my door in case anyone is looking for sitcom ideas.
If you've never thought about which shot of you they would use in "The Hills" opening, I don't even want to know you.
Sometimes I wrap Nico in a blanket and pretend she's a little grandmother. These are my confessionssssssssss.
You know you used to be fat when you thought the Harlem Shake was some sort of frosted dessert only served in New York.