SMDH IF YOU DON'T TREAT EVERY DAY AS A REAL LIFE SESAME STREET FULL OF NONSENSE CREATURES AND OPPORTUNITIES TO LEARN

REGRET HAS GOT TO BE THE WORST FORM OF TIME TRAVEL WE'VE EVER COME ACROSS.

RT IF YOU'VE DEALT WITH SUBSTANCE ABUSE AND/OR ARE REALLY GOOD AT BANANAGRAMS

RETWEET IF YOU DON'T EXIST EXCEPT ON THE INTERNET

WE ONLY USE LEASHES BECAUSE DOGS CAN'T HOLD HANDS

IF YOU CAN NAP WITH SOMEONE YOU GOT A GOOD THING

SEXT: YOU SEND ME A DIRTY PICTURE WHILE DRIVING, I CRASH MY CAR INTO YOUR BEDROOM, WHERE YOU LAY NUDE. HORNY, WE DIE TOGETHER.

CATERPILLARS ARE THE SMALLEST DOGS I HAVE EVER SEEN

MAYBE YOU CAN FALL IN LOVE WITH A COLLECTION OF WORDS AND IMAGES WITH A PERSON BEHIND IT.

SURREAL AMOUNT OF BLOOD AVAILABLE IN THE OFFICE KITCHEN IF YOU WANT IT

THE WEIRDEST PART OF A TEENAGER IS USUALLY ITS HEAD

A GREEK CHORUS OF SKELETAL CREATURES FOLLOWS YOU AROUND AND SINGS YOUR MISTAKES

THERE IS A LOT OF PAIN, BUT THEN, THERE IS A LOT OF EVERYTHING, ISN'T THERE?

THERE IS ALWAYS SO MUCH TO DO IF YOU ARE A COMPLETE WEIRDO

STOP BRINGNING MOON ROCKS BACK TO EARTH, YOU'RE INCREASING GRAVITY

WHO WASHES THE WASHMEN

THE IDEA OF THE "FAKE GEEK GIRL" COULD ONLY EXIST IN A CLIMATE OF ASSUMED DISTRUST FOR WOMEN

TWITTER IS TURN BASED

IT MUST BE REALLY BORING TO THINK YOU THINK YOU KNOW ENOUGH

THE FACT THAT WE CAN USE THE INTERNET TO MAKE PEOPLE FEEL BAD IS PROOF OF CONCEPT THAT WE CAN USE IT TO MAKE PEOPLE FEEL GOOD