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[spoken to someone in the 3rd world via an interpreter] the first of my two daily showers is just to help me wake up
The Top 10 Things You DIDN'T Know About Noxious Hydrogen Sulfide Gas
Mom and Dad raised me according to the rule that children should be seen but not heard, they should be tasted but not smelled, touched but n
47 year old man discovers "weird" trick to convert his mass to energy, jettisoning his corporeal existence. Click to see video b4 its banned
New Barnes & Noble section heading: Paranormal Low-Income Thug Romance
They should rename NPR (National Public Radio) to WBH (White Bourgeois Horseshit)
10 Weird Things The Drilling Companies WON'T Tell You About Davit-Launched Life Rafts
"straight flossin' I ain't gotta chase the cat" - Tacitus
[sees girl reading The Catcher in the Rye] Can you feel that Randy? The way the shit just [clenches fist] clings to the air
sallie bae: nm. can u make ur minimum monthly payment on ur student loans lol
me: omg could i not
Do not take Viagra if you take nitrates for chest pai--- OH SHIT THEY PUT 1 SECOND ON THE CLOCK BACK TO THE GAME
“Distinctions between citizens solely because of their ancestry are by their very nature odious to a free people” Rice v. Cayetano
*inflicts gridiron football-style tackle on a guileless piece of troll bait* WELCOME TO WEIRD TWITTER
a prehistoric shark that seems impervious to criminal indictments and advocates the usage of non-stick cookware
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