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  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    what do we want? mutual coital timing when do we want it? wait not yet

    • 422
    • FAVS
    satiricalsmileJasonSheridanDanielPaucoPriya_27_LadyLardmank8epaigeb4d13EvaGiselle
    • 185
    • RETWEETS
    TheTylerNickelTheTweetParrotale___luyaIRodCRobertPIngramjamenvhLurchTheOgreJacobBeenJammin
    JhonRulesfarttheleanover
  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    improve your memory by doing unforgettable things

    • 242
    • FAVS
    2thestreetzsatiricalsmile14thmousePurldKimberlyCartercoconut__brajeffaweeclarkTwaiDizzle
    • 220
    • RETWEETS
    2thestreetzjeffaweeclark_regular_TwaiDizzlekihugiSanjPatscrookedflowersmrtruthandsoul
    possibilyssDanKCharnley
  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    1 in 10 people nervous about 9 out of 10 people

    • 240
    • FAVS
    satiricalsmilekitchucklesdell_yeahcaitlyn_tannerKlayGallowayhannahrosemurfjedfudallyamyisforawesome
    • 67
    • RETWEETS
    jedfudallyDavidDownSouthLivibelsDadaJhonRulesjamiexcoolxmanConorAwesomeCeraunoscopesmeagolsfree
    josephesque
  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    an orgasm like the momentary gap in the rain beneath an overpass

    • 211
    • FAVS
    satiricalsmileassluxxHome_HalfwayJackson_T_Fish__Jasp__mathiasfruhmannegduffchandlear
    • 39
    • RETWEETS
    Jackson_T_FishLady_NoremonPopeRichardCoryErnieLiesSweetManddeeObligatoryFuckcurtis_mortonHalllidisco
  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    tetris theme blaring as pall bearers try to angle my coffin into a narrow grave

    • 181
    • FAVS
    satiricalsmileSpaceTerroristsSeannMorganJasonBerlintnylgnDanKCharnleylightfromlightLivibelsDada
    • 59
    • RETWEETS
    LivibelsDadalightfromlightGrowlyGregoImy_KalvybarishHectorGalvez6Wroughterlycaptaindangus
  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    5 out of 5 nutritionists will die regardless

    • 152
    • FAVS
    satiricalsmilecaptainjoe2822Trotter_99AnnalisaMilloapopagasmJasonBerlintnylgnlightfromlight
    • 81
    • RETWEETS
    steve_condracurtis_mortoncaptainjoe2822Trotter_99LivibelsDadalightfromlighterikaokayyiceicedouchy
  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    you can lead a horse to water but you can't stop drinking

    • 154
    • FAVS
    CalliopeTreizeDah_ButlahWhoopdeedoo22Lovelyinthe804ExitThaWarriorJasonBerlintnylgnDanKCharnley
    • 57
    • RETWEETS
    marinacieraExitThaWarriorLivibelsDadaCountGripsnatchhilarytraphagenjadziiadaxpatrickbytheseaseptilline
    KellyBawston
  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    so in love we forgot the internet

    • 152
    • FAVS
    satiricalsmileCalliopeTreizeWhoopdeedoo22bizmichaelEven_Oddsdr_Shame_JrLovelyinthe804AnnalisaMillo
    • 52
    • RETWEETS
    dr_Shame_JrLivibelsDadaAnnalisaMilloWaifXPLeerasmookerschmookerhiggitybosonTheFaithDecker
    sallyelegant
  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    what do we want? to stop wanting things. when do we want it? retroactively

    • 147
    • FAVS
    satiricalsmileWhoopdeedoo22rrrifaySPmilkshakeEven_Oddsdr_Shame_JrLovelyinthe804ManvAlcohol
    • 45
    • RETWEETS
    Even_Oddsdr_Shame_JrSkysTheLimitCSLivibelsDadaOhRatherfairbrookbrittlebrancheselectroweakstar
    JasonBerlin
  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    What's heavier? 100lbs of feathers or 100lbs of everyone you love will die?

    • 123
    • FAVS
    satiricalsmileCalliopeTreizeheadedtospaceLovelyinthe804SillygingermomtnylgnlightfromlightLivibelsDada
    • 45
    • RETWEETS
    curtis_mortonheadedtospaceSillygingermomLivibelsDadalightfromlightlittlebird65GrowlyGregoCountGripsnatch
    earfdaejosephesque
  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    a smart car that runs on anxiety

    • 112
    • FAVS
    satiricalsmilelibsnydsCalliopeTreizeLovelyinthe804JasonBerlintnylgnchicabellaEccentricPixie
    • 54
    • RETWEETS
    CalliopeTreizeLivibelsDadaEccentricPixiefavstar1000favslucianjamesRotankwotRIDEtheJCABlookanhi
  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    sex so good existential questions are raised

    • 104
    • FAVS
    satiricalsmileWhoopdeedoo22flightofbooks_brikisketchcoco_TylerRobinson_spermtearstbitchardson
    • 62
    • RETWEETS
    nettlethistletbitchardsoncolska______troyoldirtysenpaihell0gracespace__elevatorLivibelsDada
  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    the calls are coming from inside the jerk store

    • 128
    • FAVS
    satiricalsmileWhoopdeedoo22dr_Shame_JrLovelyinthe804LivibelsDadaElektraLuxxxRecalcitrant793scareslice
    • 29
    • RETWEETS
    dr_Shame_JrnatecantorLovelyinthe804LivibelsDadafavstar1000favst1000Misandrist__sallyelegantabbycohenwl
  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    jeremy irons is a complete sentence

    • 114
    • FAVS
    satiricalsmileakiramorikawaLovelyinthe804iyunadex4patrickbensonsephdoJasonBerlintnylgn
    • 35
    • RETWEETS
    akiramorikawaThompskeKathrynonearmbanditoziyunadex4patrickbensonLivibelsDadalightfromlightbarthes_simpson
    lightfromlightnewativanguy
  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    a life long conceptual art piece where you don't make any

    • 107
    • FAVS
    HeidiKettlerLovelyinthe804AnnalisaMilloJasonBerlintnylgnLivibelsDadadeeeebagjefftminston
    • 41
    • RETWEETS
    HeidiKettlerLivibelsDadafavstar1000favsOtillagBellaaFoxradicaljocymrsteskytinyworldtravel
  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    honk if the most unattractive part of you is the thing that worries about what part of you is most unattractive

    • 111
    • FAVS
    CalliopeTreizeWhoopdeedoo22rrrifayLivibelsDadamirnandaSuAnn_Ngkelso724ElektraLuxxx
    • 36
    • RETWEETS
    curtis_mortonLivibelsDadalaurenlikeswinefavstar1000favssugarandviceShayleeActuallyunposeur________GoesCalypso
  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    my phone wistfully remembering your wifi as I lurk past your apartment

    • 113
    • FAVS
    satiricalsmilelibsnydsdragnutchrismurphyusadanforthfrancekecklesCalliopeTreizeLovelyinthe804
    • 22
    • RETWEETS
    CalliopeTreizeklecket__________LivibelsDadafavstar1000favsyungcumupGrimhoodbread_thingGrowlyGrego
  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    dreamt I threw up a giant marshmallow & awoke w an extra pillow

    • 105
    • FAVS
    SpencerFos22glitlzbuttplayennuiBarctwainJennyPentlandOuterJohnvladchocretsoor
    • 27
    • RETWEETS
    PisscresshuensaoDevinTheHammerwhitesquirrel82geoffgeoff01anyakaragulinajetneethin_cities
  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    the times when you have seen only one footprint is when I adopted the crane pose & challenged the sea

    • 89
    • FAVS
    satiricalsmileWhoopdeedoo22meilanmorikawaakiramorikawabigfootjakelLovelyinthe804JuelzombieJasonBerlin
    • 28
    • RETWEETS
    meilanmorikawaakiramorikawaLovelyinthe804LivibelsDadalightfromlightbrowntownktslodwickpoint9repeating
    foucault_45
  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    I like my coffee like I like your smoldering corpse

    • 78
    • FAVS
    satiricalsmilecheckmatecharlifridacallousJennyPentlandcharmlesslyoursxnjdrirl_sugarbabemycatisblued
    • 38
    • RETWEETS
    iamallyrdArdeeMartinmemeowmaddysadisticeyesInsaneIsa_amandavegaFlarferhavemorrissey
@retsoor

@retsoor

honk