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  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    improve your memory by doing unforgettable things

    • 243
    • FAVS
    nikepinksunrise2thestreetzsatiricalsmile14thmousePurldKimberlyCartercoconut__brajeffaweeclark
    • 220
    • RETWEETS
    2thestreetzjeffaweeclark_regular_TwaiDizzlekihugiSanjPatscrookedflowersmrtruthandsoul
    possibilyssDanKCharnley
  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    mad shout out to the molecules that decide they are you

    • 60
    • FAVS
    defenditfloresnemarkleidnerborderlinekrysreneajay2cloudybonesppersiaaBigJonBul
    • 25
    • RETWEETS
    defenditzeldaA_SborderlinekrysFunnyTunesreneajay2cloudybonesppersiaaBigJonBul
    fingerbangs
  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    the kind of beauty that would've been burned at the stake

    • 24
    • FAVS
    eborg01dmkumar4HeyHoseyhopiecantheewrenhellobaphomet____PolhunterPkamiekaymee__
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    eborg01PolhunterPBooReefakarentozzi
    PolhunterP
  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    what do we want? mutual coital timing when do we want it? wait not yet

    • 422
    • FAVS
    satiricalsmileJasonSheridanDanielPaucoPriya_27_LadyLardmank8epaigeb4d13EvaGiselle
    • 185
    • RETWEETS
    TheTylerNickelTheTweetParrotale___luyaIRodCRobertPIngramjamenvhLurchTheOgreJacobBeenJammin
    JhonRulesfarttheleanover
  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    what do we want? to stop wanting things. when do we want it? retroactively

    • 147
    • FAVS
    satiricalsmileWhoopdeedoo22rrrifaySPmilkshakeEven_Oddsdr_Shame_JrLovelyinthe804ManvAlcohol
    • 45
    • RETWEETS
    Even_Oddsdr_Shame_JrSkysTheLimitCSLivibelsDadaOhRatherfairbrookbrittlebrancheselectroweakstar
    JasonBerlin
  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    whats heavier, 100 lbs of feathers or 100 lbs of the beatles were done by age 27 vs your handful of followers on instagram?

    • 20
    • FAVS
    jefftminstonHyperEntitycreamcheepookleblinkyearfdaeLivibelsDadaJonJon_Browncitylifejc
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    pookleblinkyPrincessRKVearfdaemiraclefallsBBiB
    earfdae
  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    honk if you're addicted to an empty room

    • 90
    • FAVS
    openchakradaisysunshine90__asdfsemiLivibelsDadatragicunhipSurrealSun7erdincyilmaz7intractorble
    • 21
    • RETWEETS
    asdfsemiLivibelsDadatragicunhipdannyallen_94gadgetgreencatpineapplephoebebethUnhingedBlah
    kamiekaymee__
  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    jeremy irons is a complete sentence

    • 114
    • FAVS
    satiricalsmileakiramorikawaLovelyinthe804iyunadex4patrickbensonsephdoJasonBerlintnylgn
    • 35
    • RETWEETS
    akiramorikawaThompskeKathrynonearmbanditoziyunadex4patrickbensonLivibelsDadalightfromlightbarthes_simpson
    lightfromlightnewativanguy
  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    honk if the best indication of intelligence is wishing you were dumber

    • 38
    • FAVS
    rrrifayPonylopeCountGripsnatchGingerGandervladchoclaurenllasthatAndrewCdeeeebag
    • 13
    • RETWEETS
    mpopatDCMisanthropedeeeebaglightfromlightDonsLawnSalonelkippyBilalgroupieadrbbbb
    deeeebag
  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    the times when you have seen only one footprint is when I adopted the crane pose & challenged the sea

    • 89
    • FAVS
    satiricalsmileWhoopdeedoo22meilanmorikawaakiramorikawabigfootjakelLovelyinthe804JuelzombieJasonBerlin
    • 28
    • RETWEETS
    meilanmorikawaakiramorikawaLovelyinthe804LivibelsDadalightfromlightbrowntownktslodwickpoint9repeating
    foucault_45
  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    so much depends on a frozen lap dog propping open the vet's freezer while you & the goth kid angle in a freshly dead mastiff circa '96

    • 14
    • FAVS
    PonylopeDarnnthatAndrewClanyardiganCelebrityChezdvoted_hubsandCabbageNewskathygeissNBC
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    VN_RubenElektraLuxxx
    ElektraLuxxx
  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    you can lead a horse to water but you can't stop drinking

    • 154
    • FAVS
    CalliopeTreizeDah_ButlahWhoopdeedoo22Lovelyinthe804ExitThaWarriorJasonBerlintnylgnDanKCharnley
    • 57
    • RETWEETS
    marinacieraExitThaWarriorLivibelsDadaCountGripsnatchhilarytraphagenjadziiadaxpatrickbytheseaseptilline
    KellyBawston
  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    so in love we forgot the internet

    • 152
    • FAVS
    satiricalsmileCalliopeTreizeWhoopdeedoo22bizmichaelEven_Oddsdr_Shame_JrLovelyinthe804AnnalisaMillo
    • 52
    • RETWEETS
    dr_Shame_JrLivibelsDadaAnnalisaMilloWaifXPLeerasmookerschmookerhiggitybosonTheFaithDecker
    sallyelegant
  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    the false security of having half a tuna sandwich of life left

    • 13
    • FAVS
    everylilthinghottubpeeseophoriaCelebrityChezLeemanishmisscepheidearfdaerubyameow
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    hottubpeerealpradyumantonofshellDJHouseSlippers
    DJHouseSlippers
  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    What's heavier? 100lbs of feathers or 100lbs of everyone you love will die?

    • 123
    • FAVS
    satiricalsmileCalliopeTreizeheadedtospaceLovelyinthe804SillygingermomtnylgnlightfromlightLivibelsDada
    • 45
    • RETWEETS
    curtis_mortonheadedtospaceSillygingermomLivibelsDadalightfromlightlittlebird65GrowlyGregoCountGripsnatch
    earfdaejosephesque
  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    the only thing wrong w you is the part of you that thinks there's something wrong

    • 39
    • FAVS
    Whoopdeedoo22deeeebagmikecerchiariObligatoryFuckhell_doeTheMidnightAceeverylilthingsenderblock23
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    somelaniesaidfavstar_popcommmonprayerOtillagkittydukeamyisforawesomeEntangldDJHouseSlippers
    DJHouseSlippers
  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    staring at each other through opposite ends of a telescope too bored to unravel the metaphor

    • 22
    • FAVS
    TamiCruMortimusgerbilElisabeth_Lanesenderblock23Zwolf666nikkilowerygmossiiIsaacKozell
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    josephesqueKidNamedPothe_holy_fools____digitalburqarolandthecatbergified
    josephesque
  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    like my coffee like I like my pits of despair, bottomless w a black surface that reflects shame

    • 58
    • FAVS
    JasonBerlintnylgnelmoshcoLivibelsDadadeeeebagCountGripsnatchmartynwendellJonJon_Brown
    • 29
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar500FavshvmaneShem_ThePenmantwerkeverywhere__killurselferikaxPizzaxSlutxzCorseokkkkkkkkay
    josephesquetheleanover
  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    your inner child forced to watch the past fuck the shit out of the future in the short film loop of your limited imagination

    • 32
    • FAVS
    deeeebagbabyboy2001dudeinaplacejamie_croziersallyelegantlanyardiganjackesiespazrunsny
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    sallyelegantspazrunsnySpiderogerSICrecordsamytkowicz________astrobaseactual
    heckadecimal
  • retsoor
      retsoor @retsoor

    on my back watching trees email birds back & forth, nary a fuck given

    • 22
    • FAVS
    DarnnjosephesqueSpiderogerretsoortheleanoverOnlySonMusicRideOrDiePudgesincretic
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    tannerwhateverihateverything6jmmy_kpplHeyItsScruffy
    HeyItsScruffy
@retsoor

@retsoor

honk

Tweets from @retsoor most recently awarded Tweet of the Day by Pro Members.