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  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    I tweeted all my good tweets before you started following me.

    • 291
    • FAVS
    notstatePatrikwardsCaveman_42CubanaMama82dmutatiPanettaSexyTimemantejmarkste71128147
    • 143
    • RETWEETS
    nduliyavanessaMfoltenCaveman_42TheOneIan_Qerwy_CubanaMama82dmutatiLovingson_
  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    Google is attempting to acquire WhatsApp for near 1 Billion dollars. They should just download it for free like the rest of us.

    • 65
    • FAVS
    markste71128147gneiccotripsixx_jeffswarensmpendapesaWhervrIMayRoamBigBang6000taseeveryone
    • 220
    • RETWEETS
    that_Beastjeffswarenscharloh__Nobbz_Kay_S_Bob_Sibongile_ScomelywordsmithWhervrIMayRoam
  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    Ladies say that men think with their dicks, well if that is the case feel free to blow my mind.

    • 147
    • FAVS
    PanettaSexyTimegneiccojeffswarensMasterOfFuryTomnyVercetti____bwrcaTheKenyan_nyax6
    • 100
    • RETWEETS
    Jaden_kacqrisAceJoodshankukundaShwento__Samzen_mysbbbyGingerritoImThatNword
  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    If I die in my sleep you can actually say that I died doing what I loved.

    • 151
    • FAVS
    _kilunda_AccioHamsaBrooke_McNeillySassyChantelletimkempfrusteehaloPanettaSexyTimePer_Incuriam
    • 72
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_history_kilunda_PanettaSexyTimejeffswarenshemangdoshi1211meg_wordologistPoohBear_Goa_Bingi
  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    Immortals be like

    "YOL∞!"

    • 66
    • FAVS
    dennisdup_Lukuya_kilunda_PanettaSexyTime_traceyy_TomnyVercetti_____BingiTheKenyan_
    • 150
    • RETWEETS
    KisangJanet_LukuyaKIMUTAI_254BatistaKish__kilunda_JoanneMwizamtsankaraabukabuxo
  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    Don't read this tweet. Why don't you heed on simple instructions? Okay stop here! Don't read past this part. Ugh, You idiot.

    • 134
    • FAVS
    _kilunda_TomnyVercetti____bwrcaTheKenyan_nyax6sickolia_albywizzygmossii
    • 65
    • RETWEETS
    KIMUTAI_254_kilunda_psychoMUGARayMmojaSamzen_TheKenyan_nyax6iamporgy
  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    I just broke up with my vegetarian girlfriend. I told her, "it's not you, it's meat."

    • 119
    • FAVS
    dennisdup_kilunda_TomnyVercetti____BeavanssidewazedSamzen_TheKenyan_nyax6
    • 69
    • RETWEETS
    KIMUTAI_254_kilunda__abuya_sidewazednyax6psychoMUGAiWatebaSamzen_
  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    1. Get a random lady at the bar
    2. Nickname her 'Preneur'
    3. Buy her drinks
    4. Take her home
    5. Entrepreneur

    • 44
    • FAVS
    _kilunda_Jzenahonume_albywizzyTomnyVercetti____TheKenyan_OGALLOHnyax6
    • 119
    • RETWEETS
    KIMUTAI_254_kilunda_Eye3ohOtuambalaDopeDc_Denolinchhomepage96Swanzin
  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    Dear tweeps with egg avis, please hatch.

    • 101
    • FAVS
    TheKenyan_nyax6TorriableWathiary_albywizzymisskerry_TheEpicAssholeThe_Mentalyst
    • 57
    • RETWEETS
    iGitz_Low_coreFellaratedLamsKenya_favstar1000favs1ManUtdGirlShwento__albywizzy
  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    This toothpaste claims "triple action" but only has one hole.

    • 85
    • FAVS
    TomnyVercetti____lawaljalalSamzen_dennisochenjaTheKenyan_DrangulaCarterMicluvinKandistor
    • 71
    • RETWEETS
    Number1_idlerpsychoMUGAShwento__Samzen_HuajatollaChicTheKenyan_custo3000iVince_43
    GroperClevelandPsycholyst
  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    Only an idiot would judge a person by their race or religion and not what their favorite TV show is.

    • 94
    • FAVS
    TomnyVercetti____mr_lawalebwrcanyax6ZahraSBokhariexschoolnerdSamzen_CNAComedy
    • 61
    • RETWEETS
    GloriaNgumiShinobiRobi______RpeechipkeezyIncognitah_vince_luckerbrianmuuonyax6thepelosa
  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    I'll go batshit insane and donkey punch someone if they ever shut down Twitter. I'm not kidding you.

    • 129
    • FAVS
    TomnyVercetti____TheKenyan_nyax6albywizzyiMurumbakodeeezzzymisskerry_The_Mentalyst
    • 26
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historyalbywizzyVanMugaiMurumbabwrcaScarsFourEyesmochanyafavstar1000favs
  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    I water my flowers every time I get laid. They are all dead now.

    • 109
    • FAVS
    TomnyVercetti____TheKenyan_Kandistornyax6DwayneKariukijovineooiNyagah_Wathiary_
    • 43
    • RETWEETS
    Maurice_Jr7SpraggaizmeKandistorIncognitah_nyax6LamsKenya_mSale_chelah_reez
  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    class Kanu {
    function Moi(){
    return 100yrs;
    }
    };

    class Jubilee extends Kanu {
    function Uhuru(){
    echo "Hello World";
    }
    };

    • 26
    • FAVS
    TomnyVercetti____TheKenyan_nyax6JoanneMuhiaalbywizzythekidskudo_LastPennyJP_theAntiHero
    • 100
    • RETWEETS
    nyax6theTrueParanyaalbywizzyVanMugaRamzZy_RkoDominiccymohsmallzEastrole
  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    Sleep is my drug, my bed is the dealer, and my alarm clock is the police.

    • 76
    • FAVS
    TomnyVercetti____TheKenyan_Kandistornyax6albywizzyVanMugaElvisLewelakodeeezzzy
    • 33
    • RETWEETS
    Kandistornyax6albywizzyVanMugaElvisLewelaArnoldSeaboybwrcamisskerry_
  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    You become better if you compete with yourself. If
    you're always competing with
    others, you become bitter.

    • 78
    • FAVS
    TomnyVercetti____TheKenyan_nyax6albywizzyVanMugakodeeezzzyLindatonin_mateens
    • 26
    • RETWEETS
    ShiroNgigiiamporgyalbywizzyNufftaliRamzZy_RafflesWordFavstar500Favsjustdoitnowok
  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    There is one rule on Twitter. Be yourself. Don't let anything or anybody here change who you really are.

    • 78
    • FAVS
    TomnyVercetti____TheKenyan_nyax6albywizzymisskerry_jta1949I_SEE_THRU_YOUJP_theAntiHero
    • 26
    • RETWEETS
    albywizzypsychoMUGAVanMugajta1949I_SEE_THRU_YOUTheJoshHarmontrickasstracy____justdoitnowok
  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    Ladies who give hickeys to every dude they bump into at a bar are just social neckworking.

    • 70
    • FAVS
    TomnyVercetti____TheKenyan_nyax6albywizzyVanMugakodeeezzzymisskerry_TheEpicAsshole
    • 25
    • RETWEETS
    Mwash_albywizzyLilNgashVanMugamisskerry_zolofighterI_SEE_THRU_YOUJesseBaba
  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    For those who don't get 50%+1. Assume a wavefunction treats the object as a quantum harmonic oscillator and it's akin to acoustic resonance

    • 32
    • FAVS
    TomnyVercetti____TheKenyan_nyax6bwrcaalbywizzyVanMugaonume_kiruti
    • 52
    • RETWEETS
    Incognitah_nyax6Sheilakarialbywizzycute_hippo_VanMugaonume_jamocaesar
  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    To be frank, the thought that someone reads anything I tweet kinda freaks me out a little.

    • 65
    • FAVS
    TomnyVercetti____TheKenyan_nyax6bwrcaSamzen_albywizzyVanMugakodeeezzzy
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    albywizzyBaronKimaruScarsFourEyesFavstar500FavsOfficeLinebckerFutureGoldMedalCassfullofjoyhoneybadgerMel
@Richard_Keep

@Richard_Keep

Systems Architect.