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  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    I tweeted all my good tweets before you started following me.

    • 293
    • FAVS
    kirutih_abuyanotstatePatrikwardsCaveman_42CubanaMama82dmutatiPanettaSexyTime
    • 146
    • RETWEETS
    killmuvs1Dexxeh_abuyanduliyavanessaMfoltenCaveman_42TheOneIan_Qerwy_
  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    Google is attempting to acquire WhatsApp for near 1 Billion dollars. They should just download it for free like the rest of us.

    • 66
    • FAVS
    h_abuyamarkste71128147gneiccocbsixxjeffswarensmpendapesaWhervrIMayRoamBigBang6000
    • 220
    • RETWEETS
    that_BeastjeffswarensCharloh__Nobbz_Kay_S_Bob_Sibongile_ScomelywordsmithWhervrIMayRoam
  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    Ladies say that men think with their dicks, well if that is the case feel free to blow my mind.

    • 149
    • FAVS
    Jeojih_abuyaPanettaSexyTimegneiccojeffswarensMasterOfFuryTomnyVercetti____bwrca
    • 103
    • RETWEETS
    hudmwaDexxeh_abuyaJaden_kacqrisAceJoodshankukundaShwentoSamzen_
  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    If I die in my sleep you can actually say that I died doing what I loved.

    • 152
    • FAVS
    h_abuya_kilunda_AccioHamsaBrooke_McNeillySassyChantelletimkempfrusteehaloPanettaSexyTime
    • 72
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_history_kilunda_PanettaSexyTimejeffswarenshemangdoshi1211meg_wordologistPoohBear_Goa_Bingi
  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    Immortals be like

    "YOL∞!"

    • 66
    • FAVS
    dennisdupNaayoo____kilunda_PanettaSexyTime_traceyy_TomnyVercetti_____BingiTheKenyan_
    • 150
    • RETWEETS
    KisangJanetNaayoo___KIMUTAI_254BatistaKish__kilunda_JoanneMwizamtsankaraabukabuxo
  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    Don't read this tweet. Why don't you heed on simple instructions? Okay stop here! Don't read past this part. Ugh, You idiot.

    • 134
    • FAVS
    _kilunda_TomnyVercetti____bwrcaTheKenyan_xysistsickolia_albywizzygmossii
    • 65
    • RETWEETS
    KIMUTAI_254_kilunda_psychoMUGARayMmojaSamzen_TheKenyan_xysistiamporgy
  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    I just broke up with my vegetarian girlfriend. I told her, "it's not you, it's meat."

    • 120
    • FAVS
    h_abuyadennisdup_kilunda_TomnyVercetti____BeavanssidewazedSamzen_TheKenyan_
    • 69
    • RETWEETS
    KIMUTAI_254_kilunda_AbuyasLifesidewazedxysistpsychoMUGAiWatebaSamzen_
  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    1. Get a random lady at the bar
    2. Nickname her 'Preneur'
    3. Buy her drinks
    4. Take her home
    5. Entrepreneur

    • 45
    • FAVS
    h_abuya_kilunda_Jzenahonume_albywizzyTomnyVercetti____TheKenyan_OGALLOH
    • 120
    • RETWEETS
    h_abuyaKIMUTAI_254_kilunda_Eye3ohOtuambalaDopeDc_Denolinchhomepage96
  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    Dear tweeps with egg avis, please hatch.

    • 102
    • FAVS
    h_abuyaTheKenyan_xysistTorriableWathiary_albywizzymisskerry_TheEpicAsshole
    • 57
    • RETWEETS
    iGitz_Low_coreFellaratedLamsKenya_favstar1000favs1ManUtdGirlShwentoalbywizzy
  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    This toothpaste claims "triple action" but only has one hole.

    • 86
    • FAVS
    h_abuyaTomnyVercetti____lawaljalalSamzen_dennisochenjaTheKenyan_DrangulaCarterMicluvin
    • 72
    • RETWEETS
    h_abuyaNumber1_idlerpsychoMUGAShwentoSamzen_HuajatollaChicTheKenyan_custo3000
    GroperClevelandPsycholyst
  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    Only an idiot would judge a person by their race or religion and not what their favorite TV show is.

    • 94
    • FAVS
    TomnyVercetti____mr_lawalebwrcaxysistZahraSBokhariexschoolnerdSamzen_CNAComedy
    • 61
    • RETWEETS
    GloriaNgumiShinobiRobi______RpeechipkeezyIncognitah_vince_luckerbrianmuuoxysistthepelosa
  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    I'll go batshit insane and donkey punch someone if they ever shut down Twitter. I'm not kidding you.

    • 129
    • FAVS
    TomnyVercetti____TheKenyan_xysistalbywizzyiMurumbakodeeezzzymisskerry_The_Mentalyst
    • 26
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historyalbywizzyVanMugaiMurumbabwrcaScarsFourEyesmochanyafavstar1000favs
  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    I water my flowers every time I get laid. They are all dead now.

    • 109
    • FAVS
    TomnyVercetti____TheKenyan_KandistorxysistDwayneKariukijovineooiNyagah_Wathiary_
    • 43
    • RETWEETS
    Maurice_Jr7SpraggaizmeKandistorIncognitah_xysistLamsKenya_mSale_chelah_reez
  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    class Kanu {
    function Moi(){
    return 100yrs;
    }
    };

    class Jubilee extends Kanu {
    function Uhuru(){
    echo "Hello World";
    }
    };

    • 26
    • FAVS
    TomnyVercetti____TheKenyan_xysistJoanneMuhiaalbywizzythekidskudo_LastPennyJP_theAntiHero
    • 102
    • RETWEETS
    ckisukeh_abuyaxysisttheTrueParanyaalbywizzyVanMugaRamzZy_RkoDominic
  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    Sleep is my drug, my bed is the dealer, and my alarm clock is the police.

    • 77
    • FAVS
    h_abuyaTomnyVercetti____TheKenyan_KandistorxysistalbywizzyVanMugaElvisLewela
    • 33
    • RETWEETS
    KandistorxysistalbywizzyVanMugaElvisLewelaArnoldHashimbwrcamisskerry_
  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    It's been 20 minutes since Uhuru nominated Joseph Nkaissery as Interior CS and we haven't had a blast or cattle rustling. Best. CS. Ever.

    • 13
    • FAVS
    Tammie_ppMr_Mugosmurfie_loveSusanWacekeMehdiNanterre92chemuchemtaiAwinoRonnaStepheniax57
    • 93
    • RETWEETS
    brianngetich64Rpeechipkeezy_NJerII_NjueKevinWarariJKAgnesGitauMorrisNyangebarely_tasty
  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    You become better if you compete with yourself. If
    you're always competing with
    others, you become bitter.

    • 78
    • FAVS
    TomnyVercetti____TheKenyan_xysistalbywizzyVanMugakodeeezzzyLindatonin_mateens
    • 26
    • RETWEETS
    ShiroNgigiiamporgyalbywizzyNufftaliRamzZy_RafflesWordFavstar500Favsjustdoitnowok
  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    There is one rule on Twitter. Be yourself. Don't let anything or anybody here change who you really are.

    • 78
    • FAVS
    TomnyVercetti____TheKenyan_xysistalbywizzymisskerry_jta1949I_SEE_THRU_YOUJP_theAntiHero
    • 26
    • RETWEETS
    albywizzypsychoMUGAVanMugajta1949I_SEE_THRU_YOUTheJoshHarmontrickasstracy____justdoitnowok
  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    Ladies who give hickeys to every dude they bump into at a bar are just social neckworking.

    • 70
    • FAVS
    TomnyVercetti____TheKenyan_xysistalbywizzyVanMugakodeeezzzymisskerry_TheEpicAsshole
    • 25
    • RETWEETS
    Mwash_albywizzyLilNgashVanMugamisskerry_zolofighterI_SEE_THRU_YOUJesseBaba
  • Richard_Keep
      Richard @Richard_Keep

    For those who don't get 50%+1. Assume a wavefunction treats the object as a quantum harmonic oscillator and it's akin to acoustic resonance

    • 32
    • FAVS
    TomnyVercetti____TheKenyan_xysistbwrcaalbywizzyVanMugaonume_kiruti
    • 52
    • RETWEETS
    Incognitah_xysistSheilakarialbywizzycute_hippo_VanMugaonume_jamocaesar
@Richard_Keep

@Richard_Keep

Holy primordial emptiness is all you can find here.