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Oops. Just ate beef jerky on a Friday during Lent. Sorry Jesus. Is this why you took my house away?
Mondays are the one juicebox in the pack without a straw.
I have no free time until April. Good thing I have no friends or hopes or dreams.
Is it too late to join the 'Rent Is Too Damn High' Party? That guy seems to have a pretty solid platform. And by platform, I mean mustache.
"I love The Doors, but I wish there were more organ solos" - no one, ever.
Am I old enough to stop pretending the Doors' organ doesn't annoy the crap out of me?
I'm only about two years away from incessantly sweeping my stoop and going to bed right after Jeopardy.
WHERE WAS CHRIS HANSEN?! #joepa
Everyone in NYC either looks like they're in an indie band or the foreign sex trade.