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  • rick_snee
      Rick Snee @rick_snee

    Alan Rickman's only thankful for the Harry Potter movies because bank and airport security guards don't think he's Hans Gruber anymore.

    • 9
    • FAVS
    PDDevoMajorDickDanger__Theodoh__________mattmanicSardonicAnthonymx1canFelineMurder______PirateFatale______
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_popmikepsx2003Sparkle_MotionsmattmanicPornvertzaswadosazeMrDirty75______FelineMurder______
  • rick_snee
      Rick Snee @rick_snee

    I really hate having to tuck my shirt into my jeans at work. I look like Jeff Foxworthy minus the pedostache and van full of 5th graders.

    • 15
    • FAVS
    Jaclyn1020________Funny_BrosJuiceAgenda______NickyDicoKevinRicottaJRecommendsandyeriksonThisAlexStein
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    JRecommends
  • rick_snee
      Rick Snee @rick_snee

    Unleashing happy people on an unsuspecting office at 8 am should be an OSHA violation.

    • 12
    • FAVS
    WeethyKickyBonitaDesastre___TattooedMiseryTequilaRNNickyDicoFVBaron72________FRANKSTALICIOUSJRecommends
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    JRecommends
  • rick_snee
      Rick Snee @rick_snee

    "Oh YEAH? Well, I peed a little every time you went down on me!"

    • 11
    • FAVS
    Jaclyn1020________BonitaDesastre___ShotOfBullmatttuffNickyDicoangidances____tweetlbeee________LipstickSpice
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    JRecommends
  • rick_snee
      Rick Snee @rick_snee

    It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to misattribute a quote to Mark Twain and remove all doubt.

    • 9
    • FAVS
    JRecommendsandyeriksonMiahSaintGodTierEllimistjkramblesgroundivy____offendthisvadawaii
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    nonpopulistgroonk
  • rick_snee
      Rick Snee @rick_snee

    I'm not saying this game is depressing, but I just switched over from beer to raw cookie dough. #capitalstalk

    • 6
    • FAVS
    Shamekaahdn______Alvertavyyh______Claudialemr______Josettelmt________TheGeansShowLlib_Notwal
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    TheGeansShowhokiepj
  • rick_snee
      Rick Snee @rick_snee

    When I cum inside a woman on the pill, I like to imagine her ovaries say, "Stop all engines! Repel boarders!" FLASH! *crackle* AH-AHHHH!

    • 5
    • FAVS
    JRecommendsoffendthisTraceOfHumanitySarahsJokesLiquorface________
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    MrNerdBoiijosearveloLiquorface________
  • rick_snee
      Rick Snee @rick_snee

    "That fat guy in Se7en who's killed with tons of spaghetti? I hope that happens to you, but with dicks." - anniversary card from my wife

    • 6
    • FAVS
    Rarfhead_FitsNShitsmendozaxaviNostradamnisuckLiquorface________NicMcCool
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Liquorface________
  • rick_snee
      Rick Snee @rick_snee

    Whichever auto maker finally adds a "sync to radio" setting for the windshield wipers will receive my credit rating and a sandwich.

    • 3
    • FAVS
    JRecommendsStanceofDogsNerdSnark
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    AllegraKnightBradBullock25NoBadWords
  • rick_snee
      Rick Snee @rick_snee

    I'm badass. I once escaped from prison with a rope made of tampon strings and overpowered guards in a TSS rage. (Hello, women unfollowers.)

    • 3
    • FAVS
    JRecommendsSuperStripersLiborC
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    donnieg75________DirtyMilfDonna____KaitVonBlucher
  • rick_snee
      Rick Snee @rick_snee

    It's touching to see the French fighting with us again. It's like we got our LeBeau back for another season of Hogan's Heroes.

    • 6
    • FAVS
    JRecommendsGodTierEllimistdannydogmouthgroundivy____offendthisDorkLantern______
  • rick_snee
      Rick Snee @rick_snee

    Now that Dick Van Dyke is OK, it's time to discuss why we allow a man who can't walk across a living room to drive. pic.twitter.com/imxtQPJorM

    • 2
    • FAVS
    nyssa23TheGeansShow
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    ruprinc3ss13BryanMcBTheGeansShow
  • rick_snee
      Rick Snee @rick_snee

    You can tell how far off a storm is by counting the seconds between the thunder and somebody asking, "Was that thunder?"

    • 4
    • FAVS
    Toy_A101CthunicornLlib_Notwalleashalette
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Llib_Notwal
  • rick_snee
     
    Rick Snee @rick_snee

    @lillyhale1 Calm down, Nancy Drew. It's not like the police assigned 2 more detectives to the "Case of the Size and Color of Your Nipples."

    • 2
    • FAVS
    SternFan247______LillyHale1
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    CarolinaDeb88HavanFellowsLillyHale1
  • rick_snee
      Rick Snee @rick_snee

    Hey, @rushlimbaugh. My wife and I get her contraception through insurance. Call her a slut again and see what a feminist really looks like.

    • 3
    • FAVS
    splendidly_dullbybeautydamnedHalbeerz
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    dtcavHalbeerz
  • rick_snee
      Rick Snee @rick_snee

    It creeps me out when my friends have babies because then I know they're not pulling out or sticking to anal.

    • 4
    • FAVS
    JRecommendsSuperStripersLiquorface________NicMcCool
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    nataliecoleslaw
  • rick_snee
      Rick Snee @rick_snee

    It's more than a little fucked up that "man on the street" interviews never include homeless people.

    • 5
    • FAVS
    JRecommendsdannydogmouthoffendthisgroundivy____SuperStripers
  • rick_snee
      Rick Snee @rick_snee

    No Star Wars Day listed in my Star Wars calendar? I'm starting to think May the Fourth isn't canon.

    • 3
    • FAVS
    GodTierEllimistSuperStripersRyanPMG____
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    WhoCuppedMyCake__RyanPMG____
  • rick_snee
      Rick Snee @rick_snee

    Got called out for not knowing what pasta I was eating. I'm Italian, not "fights people who don't think Marconi invented the radio" Italian.

    • 2
    • FAVS
    JJRev95Horsecoqisfunny
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    dtcavHorsecoqisfunny
  • rick_snee
      Rick Snee @rick_snee

    Whenever you think your opinion is worth something, remember: we only pay $3 a minute for someone to talk dirty to us.

    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    _Beth_Wagner_groonkBryanMcBTomBroco
@rick_snee

@rick_snee

Established 1981 in a fit of spermicidal rage. Raised by Jacobin wolves. Tempered in the finest state colleges.