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My best friend is @grifflightning because he knows exactly how to fill out my mug collection: http://t.co/iyaQNzmZ
"I've got an exit strategy," said @mulaney sitcom star @grifflightning, just before his bag got caught on a merchandise hook at Toys R Us.
I used to be able to take eight shots over the course of a night... I'd ask what happened to me, but I think that's what happened to me.
Watch tonight's THE AMERICANS!! It's got my favorite performance by @noahemmerich (sponsored by @joshmalina).
PERSPECTIVE: My first-ever girlfriend is married and pregnant; tomorrow @grifflightning and I will hand-make our own Spider-Man costumes.
It's official, boys and girls: Mine and @grifflightning's #CageMatch will be available for the iPad's @thechampionfeed on June 6th!!
"Do you want to speak to grandpa? You can say no, it's okay. He can't hear you. Don't be ashamed." -My grandmother, on the phone.
To be clear: I really liked STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS, I'm just really pretentious.
It's Saturday night, my first day of a 3 month vacation, and I'm watching Ken Burns' CIVIL WAR with my dog. This will be a long vacation.
This succession of official statements in #Boston is incredibly well choreographed. When did they plan this? Hours ago? Days?
"I'm going to go home / on my secret subway," sang the masturbating man between the ACE/BDFM levels of the West 4th Street subway station.
"I want to meet your friend @alejandaro outside of twitter. I want him to say funny things to me." -@mnachevnik, who has met Ale before.
At Landmark Sunshine's midnight SPACE JAM screening with @grifflightning. If I were gonna propose to him, this is where I'd do it.
I hope this middle-aged father of two wearing shorts at this outdoor shopping center in the falling snow has proven all he needed to prove.
#FF my oldest friend @grifflightning, who is wearing a t-shirt with a photo of four-year-old me on it in the movie he's currently shooting.
H&M just changed the Lana Del Rey billboard near my apartment to ANOTHER Lana Del Rey billboard. Life, she does not get better than this.
For a show that's really just a collection of buzzwords, it's sort of odd that there's not more @grifflightning. #TeamRuss #PoliticalAnimals
"This city is to a real city as Monopoly Money is to real money." -@grifflightning on Philadelphia #StillRevolutionary
Professional Googler on FX's THE AMERICANS, Wednesdays at 10pm. Living the dream! (In an unaffordable apartment above a McDonalds.)
Stats can't be shown as @righteousmannn has never signed in to Favstar.
