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  • Ris622
      Marisa @Ris622

    If you wanna confuse one person, use compound sentences. If you want to confuse an entire community, install a 4-way stop sign.

    • 19
    • FAVS
    JP_theAntiHeroInkdhawaiianICountBeanssCseashellsAspersioncastblurryfotooldkimcoleDontTellMommy____
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    InkdhawaiianLesbianTruckerbeastiewomanlulusgirl888ClothMamaof6Notlipstiklesbo__PetticoatRNtrialfemme
  • Ris622
      Marisa @Ris622

    Dear South: It's called the "Civil War," not The War of Northern Attrition. It's over, & time to take the confederate sticker off your truck

    • 19
    • FAVS
    JP_theAntiHeroInkdhawaiianCseashellsAspersioncastjkramblesoldkimcoletrialfemmeIrish_317
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    vaporcoffinNoirPoetograpy
    NoirPoetograpy
  • Ris622
      Marisa @Ris622

    Any woman who gets a flower tattoo on their boob when they are young will likely have a long-stemmed rose by 50.

    • 13
    • FAVS
    JP_theAntiHerojenboo33InkdhawaiianICountBeanssAspersioncastblurryfototrialfemmeIrish_317
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    InkdhawaiianMichybugHappiJoJo______Tweet_Mousenotthatgirl24snarkanoid
  • Ris622
      Marisa @Ris622

    No matter how old I get, every time I open a birthday card, I secretly hope there's a check inside.

    • 13
    • FAVS
    InkdhawaiianICountBeanssAspersioncastblurryfototrialfemmeIrish_317IdaClayer________PummeloWizard
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    ChippjNoirPoetograpy
  • Ris622
      Marisa @Ris622

    I'd like to think that every time my Blackberry freezes, someone over at RIM gets a high voltage shock.

    • 12
    • FAVS
    CseashellsAspersioncastblurryfotoIrish_317squiggIelineMmeLaCroozaeroplanextjkrambles
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    aeroplanextmssecktrialfemme
  • Ris622
      Marisa @Ris622

    Do you think people w mobile homes look back after a tornado/storm & say "ya know, we probably should've just driven it away."

    • 14
    • FAVS
    InkdhawaiianAspersioncastblurryfototrialfemmevaporcoffinIrish_317michaelphelpsnyletsdancebitchs
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    the_moonface
  • Ris622
      Marisa @Ris622

    Hey-remember that commercial where they park the jeep on that giant boulder? Yeah, no...you can't do that. Trust me.

    • 12
    • FAVS
    InkdhawaiianAspersioncastnerdamagejoelsigersonThe_Andy_DrewSelfUnassuredscenesfromahatCoastiefish
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Inkdhawaiiantrialfemme
  • Ris622
      Marisa @Ris622

    Wow thank you, spelling bot for providing me with a long list of alternative words for a spelling mistake. Spell this: Go fuck yourself.

    • 10
    • FAVS
    InkdhawaiianAspersioncastblurryfotoMischievousMs____tysoncrosbieblueshellsd______ape_geekLisaFarted
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    ape_geekgoldenring2______trialfemmehitgirl68
  • Ris622
      Marisa @Ris622

    Happy Easter from a Jew Or as some of you refer to it: The day on which your savior, Jesus Christ, whom my people killed, rose from the dead

    • 11
    • FAVS
    AspersioncasttrialfemmevaporcoffinIrish_317Cynic013disastrous007OolexButroshghali
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    SodomyClownIdaClayer________
  • Ris622
      Marisa @Ris622

    The crudely-etched plastic block paperweight is the worst gift ever. I can totally use its sharp edges to slit my wrists. Thanks, douche.

    • 12
    • FAVS
    malissalindbeck__margertgoossens__rosenaquarto103__pollylamoraANckTiffaneygxrx____Taynarhie________MargllbaKathievas________
  • Ris622
      Marisa @Ris622

    I think everyone needs to be less interested in themselves and more interested in me. I'm probably more interesting and I have cookies.

    • 11
    • FAVS
    InkdhawaiianAspersioncastblurryfotooldkimcoleCelebrityChezrobfeeAlbertaChrisIrish_317
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Irish_317
    Irish_317
  • Ris622
      Marisa @Ris622

    If I ever join a dating site I'll have to lie about my hobbies bc I guess "enjoys how-to books on stalking & murder" makes people nervous.

    • 6
    • FAVS
    InkdhawaiianAspersioncastEatGarbageHerPinkRibbonstrialfemmeIrish_317
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    NoirPoetograpykamazoniawonderhellchicSamuel_Clemonstrialfemme
  • Ris622
      Marisa @Ris622

    My neighbor's house burned down this morning. On the up side, their Christmas decorations are finally down.

    • 9
    • FAVS
    AspersioncastblurryfototrialfemmeIrish_317YrBaristaHatesUauroraheidialisCheesyyeastynewbiemom
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    rchuck____Ted_Meier________
  • Ris622
      Marisa @Ris622

    The epitome of lazy is dragging a lamp into the bathroom after the very last bulb in the vanity finally went out.

    • 9
    • FAVS
    AspersioncastIrish_317IdaClayer________LifeWellPlayed____vaporcoffinthatgirltricia24_7jokes________JanieDangerous____
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    trialfemme
  • Ris622
      Marisa @Ris622

    Even when it's cold & snowing in NY, I take comfort in the fact that I don't live in a state that has a lot of snow AND Sarah Palin.

    • 9
    • FAVS
    AspersioncastblurryfototrialfemmevaporcoffinIrish_317CheesyyeastyZiggyWiggedMaxOutLoud
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    the_moonface
  • Ris622
      Marisa @Ris622

    If you purchase a minivan, you are required to drive 10 mph under the speed limit in the left lane with your right blinker on. #Fact

    • 7
    • FAVS
    AspersioncastjoelsigersonIrish_317kwb13Notlipstiklesbo__starrFUCKme______snarkanoid
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    LuckyCatSwedestarrFUCKme______
  • Ris622
      Marisa @Ris622

    Thanks to the show 16 & Pregnant, more moms than ever will be celebrating the day at Dave & Busters and crying themselves to sleep tonight.

    • 7
    • FAVS
    AspersioncasttrialfemmeHairyJew4LifecfishingalwaysbeforeSpotswoj__________Irish_317
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Irish_317
    Irish_317
  • Ris622
      Marisa @Ris622

    We DO have a lot in common! You like darts...darts are sharp...I like sharp objects bc they're good for stabbing. Hey, where you are going?

    • 7
    • FAVS
    AspersioncastblurryfototrialfemmeIrish_317_Bacon_Tits_verticalspeed87JustCallMeFrank
  • Ris622
      Marisa @Ris622

    Dear Kevin James, please stop making movies. Sincerely, America

    • 6
    • FAVS
    AspersioncasttrialfemmeIrish_317WillyShakes1vaporcoffinthe_moonface
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    HarryPotheadJr__
  • Ris622
      Marisa @Ris622

    "@newsday: Man arrested at JFK for trying to sneak in cocaine in a suitcase." Customs officials wondering if he's a special kind of stupid

    • 5
    • FAVS
    Irish_317oinkflapJulesJuliettaHairyJew4Lifetrialfemme
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    JulesJuliettatrialfemme
    trialfemme
@Ris622

@Ris622

It doesn't matter how much antibacterial soap you use - the shame doesn't scrub off.