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If I was to have a tramp stamp, it should be of a mistletoe, so people could kiss my ass. #ICanDoIdioticFacebookMe
Sometimes life seems random & cookies
I'm told that the new Twilight movie is going to be fangtastic. But I don't think I want a stake in it... *ZING*
Do you feel: 1) not at all fly like a G6, 2) almost fly like a G6, 3) fly like a G6, 4) a bit flier than a G6, 5) a lot flier than a G6 ?
Before mapping the human genome, science has the responsibility to map the amount of ways you can skin a cat. It's too unspecific as of now
Questionnaires, because that's the way I poll
This sunrise would be beautiful to watch, if it wasn't for my insomnia making me want to beat a pony with a tire iron
There are 2 types of prime numbers. One that only has itself & 1 as divisors, and then the other which is a number of the highest quality
Neil Armstrong dies & Snooki is in labour. If Snooki's child is the reincarnation of Neil Armstrong, then the universe has a sense of humour
Every time I use the Find Friends feature in an app it tells me to go fuck myself. I shouldn't have set my phone's language to Harsh Reality
I'm on Team Grow-The-Fuck-Up #Twilight #BreakingDawn :-)
A morning shower is the closest I come to a time machine. But instead of showing me a glorious future, I'm just made 10 minutes late
Part of me hopes that there were both blood & sperm banks, deemed to big to fail, who received government deposits in the bailout
I want to make a radio controlled wall clock that has a ? after each number. So you can know when it's exactly perhaps 6?
Generic absurdist. Part lies for giggles, part veiled honesty, and the odd awkward sincerity