About to start watching War Horse. The phrase "Throw your boobs in the air if you want some Cumberloving" springs to mind.

I half expected Dobby to say "I'm a free... BITCH, BABY." Glad he said elf. #RIP #DeathlyHallows

"Be the artist, and make me out of clay"? You brought his upon yourself, @elliegoulding: http://twitpic.com/1rx6sx

You know it's going to be a good day when you receive lots of cheese-based texts.  http://twitpic.com/cee3o2  (@henryblest)

My first experience of homoerotic subtext was realising the song "I Don't Dance" in High School Musical is really about having sex with men.

My first experience of teenage angst was the bit where Zac Efron hits his own reflection in High School Musical 2.

@mukamikuria Thanks for an excellent alternative sermon! #IWD

My mum thinks Emeli Sandé is two different people.

A high point of the history trip: when the teacher who has been sharing his drinks and singing karaoke with you asks "Am I inappropriate?"

"Tomorrow is a new beginning. Tomorrow we begin a new tomorrow." – Romney.

"Yesterday was Thursday, today is Friday." – Rebecca Black.

Names that @alotofscott would have chosen. RT @qikipedia: Early names for TV included Radio Movies, Hear-Seeing and The Electric Telescope.

I LOVE EVERYBODY IN THIS BAR

My grandma and my mum are talking about 'Fifty Shades Of Grey' CODE RED ABORT ABORT

Meeting fellow cat ladies at the vets. Ah, this is the life.

Pluralising "Buck's Fizz" is hard enough when sober, but veritably tricky having had plural Buck's Fizzes.

That tweet looks like spam but it's not. I promise it's me. Cats. See?

Rizzo and Kenickie were the first couple I ever wanted to be.

@eviemere Evie, I'm hot. Could I possibly turn on your fanny?

Snackspot.org.uk is the funniest/saddest website I've ever hurt muscles laughing at. "Spotted Spearmint Mentos at local Budgens (Eastcot)!"

Researching 'Crusha' vs. 'Robinson's Squash For Milk' with my roomie. "Peachy-Banana is top class," says a commenter on a blog.