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  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    My favorite mythical creature is the happy bitches in tampon commercials.

    • 2,088
    • FAVS
    roadkill3xMlaf2469clumsyballerinaDonutelaascarred_z_headCheeneeiAmDelFreakyNo_Job_Joe
    • 1,291
    • RETWEETS
    biko_ndechscarred_z_headiEatAss4DrugsiAmDelFreakysquirrel74wkgnPussycatPlaceCallMeDraperRBtruths
    GroperClevelandUGotMeRightlakeanagirlTallerThanATreeJuan_GolbezzeCloeLola22aimeevc1970circlejokes
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    I just went to poop without my phone & had to entertain myself with a magazine like a god damned caveman.

    • 1,842
    • FAVS
    anlaochbhothairchucko24SkinGloveAustinHitGirl516AmyAmyAmyRuthlllvvvzzzKurbstompKittieSalmal44
    • 915
    • RETWEETS
    lllvvvzzzKRussellTX82nicfit75scarred_z_headWillis1138Just_A_Guy72iEatAss4DrugsiAmDelFreaky
    NoorShammadannydogmouthJimmyTheThingCaptainObtusefifty_budsMothpete
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    If the devil was smart he would have challenged someone in a state less likely to have good fiddle players.... Like Rhode Island or Utah.

    • 1,636
    • FAVS
    No_Job_Joeschumyxxxsquirrel74wkgnlawyerthoughtsPussycatPlacehstweethearttiReynardPhil_Oshite
    • 907
    • RETWEETS
    PussycatPlacetiReynardPhil_OshitefuzzlimeBritishAnimalbbmac25TheBoydPkellyebyrne
    sentientsnorkelVikeeysSecret_Lindiscretion____hipchkkEFFFFFFYOU________littlekitnerboyjamieramonejayna_patriceManJuggsSaviorFreedomford414__________
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    I have a black belt in leather

    • 1,648
    • FAVS
    MissAlteredsteve_condraMelvinofYorklacrossemom5CharlieSmartassdlaminifeatSalinger35504phuxache
    • 804
    • RETWEETS
    cocainapuro04phuxacheLisa_Laughs_No_Job_JoePussycatPlacetiReynardjoytoyuCatnapMaven
    DanKCharnleyJermHimselfishTheReal_AndyMacRummyLaudedWolfbaneMahler____
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    These generic frosted flakes are ooooooookay.

    • 1,632
    • FAVS
    roadkill3xMissAlteredMelvinofYorklacrossemom5No_Job_JoetheDanLawlerLafWhenLifeSuxHabbibti
    • 767
    • RETWEETS
    LafWhenLifeSuxHabbibtiNatashaChyanneLauraPalmer198jdforshortsquirrel74wkgnJemill13geekgirl1313
    Adam14lilgapeach30______palokinShakeItStaci__LuvPugC_J_Commode______Cpt_Burnoutbignas46UGotMeRightdeede311__________
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    It's hard telling how many Kleenex I've fathered.

    • 1,341
    • FAVS
    squirrel74wkgnlawyerthoughtsbaedawnPussycatPlacetiReynardovidiusNkoaneninkie76pizzasauceboss
    • 379
    • RETWEETS
    tiReynardPussycatPlaceninkie76giosagripantifuzzlimeme0wmixalotshaunroddisMarkOnThePlanet
    SassyTxGirl83BillArrundaleDukeOfOyl________livingnBostondannydogmouthsarcazm2small_white______Mike_Wrong
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    It doesn’t matter how many bible verses you post on the Facebook it’s not going to wash away our memory of you being a whore in high school

    • 1,030
    • FAVS
    tiReynardsquirrel74wkgnMK_Shenanigansninkie76pizzasaucebossgiosagripantiOoft_Headshotfuzzlime
    • 602
    • RETWEETS
    ninkie76fuzzlimeMarkOnThePlanetTheBoydPcharcmoss92Weeeneemikewellman1955Sensedog
    nossink__________NolaChef504JBelk78__________ReDHeaDeDTaRT____wickedmayfairBarebakAssassincuntsiclesMarcusOreally__
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    Whatever happened to vodka flavored vodka?

    • 1,091
    • FAVS
    Zombie_KitlovejulieayntiReynarditspat78squirrel74wkgnliketheTEAAcidCircuskaytaa
    • 367
    • RETWEETS
    tiReynardkaytaaA_Certain_AyresVeydomBdenizen42ketelsenDadandBuriedcarlyken
    DeanB15sameblackshoes1__
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    My wife was such a cock block at the bar last night.

    • 1,126
    • FAVS
    roadkill3xtiReynardtamponsnvodkareviousSickayduhsquirrel74wkgnninkie76NFLPanthersSB
    • 275
    • RETWEETS
    Sickayduhninkie76Sizzla14TheBoydPsteamboatsalllybrianburchett24jess_strattonWillie1derful
    101RaceyBlondiethegoodDoom_Jedi
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    I don't get out of the shower to pee..... in fact sometimes I pee in the shower even if I'm not in it.

    • 885
    • FAVS
    tiReynardClareMBrown1Sickayduhsquirrel74wkgnOoft_HeadshotfuzzlimeNatesVibesmanningmw1
    • 257
    • RETWEETS
    Sickayduhsquirrel74wkgnfuzzlimeTheBoydPfkcarscaroline_umctaralea29__brianburchett24
    ilgrandechuck1BigMicksiamonday
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    Hey young lady, talking like a whore will only get you so far on here...... eventually you're going to have to say something funny.

    • 815
    • FAVS
    itspat78reviousClareMBrown1Sickayduhsquirrel74wkgnBadMikeyBadDrrragonHarttiemespankme
    • 284
    • RETWEETS
    HolidillSickayduhjoytoyu3bobbieleedan_jugzcarlykentiemespankmeweezermama
    DionneMcNuttjamieramonejayonguitar
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    You better check yourself before it autocorrects it's self.

    • 812
    • FAVS
    roadkill3xreviousjrosen33allioathoutSickayduhsquirrel74wkgngiosagripantiTheBoydP
    • 245
    • RETWEETS
    SickayduhTheBoydPHavanaPaasbrianburchett24TajalithacaIvsy01BlaineBrucevinfury
    sporadicattackfifty_buds
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    Don't waste your time going to the library looking for books on suicide..... no one ever brings them back.

    • 756
    • FAVS
    roadkill3xtiReynardCartographyBoySickayduhsquirrel74wkgnTheBoydPBabyFaceFormanbrianburchett24
    • 245
    • RETWEETS
    SickayduhTheBoydPbrianburchett247moochieRideSallyRide69TantePollyAttilaTaktlosmisterpause
    circlejokesladyfiredancer
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    On twitter someone says they shit their pants or just jacked off, you follow them...... in real life you back the fuck away.

    • 765
    • FAVS
    tiReynardscottbeairstoSickayduhsquirrel74wkgnDannilynnATheBoydPbrianburchett24jess_stratton
    • 210
    • RETWEETS
    scottbeairstoSickayduhTheBoydPbrianburchett24SlyPinkspysuzebittersweetRideSallyRide69bendymommy
    sgtblueeyes
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    I just caught my shadow doing that jerk off motion thing while I was explaining Twitter / Favstar to my wife.

    • 729
    • FAVS
    JustWHIPscottbeairstoDull_and_VoidSickayduhsquirrel74wkgnPhil_OshiteTheBoydPGrnjello
    • 144
    • RETWEETS
    scottbeairstoSickayduhPhil_OshiteTheBoydPbrianburchett24Willie1derfulspeknycStupidSophia_
    JosesLovesYouseanx3laurahapper______billymeetsworldBry1972
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    Your kid's kids are going to laugh their asses off at the pics you took of yourself in the mirror.

    • 599
    • FAVS
    reviousCartographyBoySickayduhsquirrel74wkgnninkie76SandySaltySkinTheBoydPHunnerGoMeow
    • 209
    • RETWEETS
    SickayduhBuckeyeAnnie2TheBoydPbrianburchett24cassvincevinfurymentalsweatschristinawilder
    Bryan_Swagger85
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    Tonight on Facebook - Nobody can wait for the weekend.

    • 643
    • FAVS
    scottbeairstoMsBelladonna925reviousCartographyBoySickayduhTheBoydPfluffysafariThe_GetawayGirl
    • 144
    • RETWEETS
    NoamanBSickayduhtaralea29__brianburchett24FraggleRockL490cassvincevinfuryBoobnish__________
    BoyCalledAnn
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    I thought I saw a coyote in the yard tonight but I couldn't tell because it didnt have an anvil.

    • 605
    • FAVS
    roadkill3xtiReynardninkie76sophia_be23BuyWithTycarlykenTheBoydPGrnjello
    • 175
    • RETWEETS
    RosbyMninkie76carlykentaralea29__brianburchett24OhighIsisWillie1derful_haggis
    littlekitnerboygaliamangolemmywinkler______
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    I found a vibrating flash light in my wife's underwear drawer but I can't figure out where the bulb is.

    • 586
    • FAVS
    ninkie76Lissabeanzsingingdoves13TheBoydPktemp__xobrianburchett24One_FineMessluvchil67
    • 119
    • RETWEETS
    LissabeanzTheBoydPtaralea29__brianburchett24Uh_OoooooRideSallyRide69Willie1derfuldavrosvandros
    MarcusOreally__IamEveryDayPpl
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    Hey guy with no shirt on in his avi....... you're stepping in douche bag

    • 538
    • FAVS
    tiReynardcarlykensingingdoves13AudiocatsTheBoydPSims_was_herecaroline_umcbrianburchett24
    • 103
    • RETWEETS
    AudiocatsTheBoydPSims_was_herecaroline_umcbrianburchett24Willie1derfulskullpuppy11CheetoBandito77
    bigmikeymike777
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