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  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    My favorite mythical creature is the happy bitches in tampon commercials.

    • 2,105
    • FAVS
    DanorSlimAndee_StewartHeyYouGuy312_LipiLicioustjthremconkdecooperSamuelHLoweskunkage
    • 1,302
    • RETWEETS
    Andee_StewartHeyYouGuy31kathleencrocke5conkdecooperSamuelHLoweOddest_GoddesstayandmaeAJ_VanFossen
    GroperClevelandUGotMeRightlakeanagirlTallerThanATreeJuan_GolbezzeCloeLola22aimeevc1970circlejokes
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    I just went to poop without my phone & had to entertain myself with a magazine like a god damned caveman.

    • 1,848
    • FAVS
    Andee_Stewarttpet57minnie_in_pink7random_tammieimfuckedanywaysmelbelle127anlaochbhothairchucko24
    • 919
    • RETWEETS
    MackTheMacminnie_in_pink7random_tammieimfuckedanywayslllvvvzzzKRussellTX82nicfit75scarred_z_head
    NoorShammadannydogmouthJimmyTheThingCaptainObtusefifty_budsMothpete
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    If the devil was smart he would have challenged someone in a state less likely to have good fiddle players.... Like Rhode Island or Utah.

    • 1,659
    • FAVS
    Andee_Stewarttayandmaerockfairydivasevenxx7alexdhenleyburnthamLa_Ketchjsilv579
    • 921
    • RETWEETS
    tayandmaerockfairydivaTSargent1ianklimonrona65DumpsterNoghighinamericaBigBellyKelly
    NickC46sentientsnorkelVikeeysSecret_Lindiscretion____hipchkkEFFFFFFYOU________littlekitnerboyjamieramonejayna_patriceManJuggsSaviorFreedomford414__________
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    I have a black belt in leather

    • 1,660
    • FAVS
    DanorSlimKnob_ishAndee_StewartBrianIncognitotayandmaePippersheenimfuckedanywaysTheJamesH1
    • 810
    • RETWEETS
    Andee_StewarttayandmaeimfuckedanywaysMind_fukkkhamfredlovemyboots111cocainapuro04phuxache
    DanKCharnleyJermHimselfishTheReal_AndyMacRummyLaudedWolfbaneMahler____
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    These generic frosted flakes are ooooooookay.

    • 1,646
    • FAVS
    garrettherreralarlak81DanorSlimAndee_StewartninatreemonkeyCurtmacklinSlimBerttayandmae
    • 775
    • RETWEETS
    Andee_StewartCurtmacklintayandmaettacksEarthKennyc2653imfuckedanywaysMind_fukkmelbelle127
    Adam14lilgapeach30______palokinShakeItStaci__LuvPugC_J_Commode______Cpt_Burnoutbignas46UGotMeRightdeede311__________
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    It's hard telling how many Kleenex I've fathered.

    • 1,346
    • FAVS
    Andee_StewartKennyc2653imfuckedanywaysmelbelle127lovemyboots111squirrel74wkgnlawyerthoughtsbaedawn
    • 381
    • RETWEETS
    imfuckedanywayslovemyboots111tiReynardPussycatPlaceninkie76sameaslifefuzzlimeme0wmixalot
    SassyTxGirl83BillArrundaleDukeOfOyl________livingnBostondannydogmouthsarcazm2small_white______Mike_Wrong
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    It doesn’t matter how many bible verses you post on the Facebook it’s not going to wash away our memory of you being a whore in high school

    • 1,046
    • FAVS
    Andee_StewarttayandmaeNickC46SilverKickBeingPamtasticPippersheenBusterGrabbSamInspired
    • 610
    • RETWEETS
    tayandmaeBusterGrabbSamInspiredimfuckedanywaysquodDeusMind_fukkangel55533lovemyboots111
    nossink__________NolaChef504JBelk78__________ReDHeaDeDTaRT____wickedmayfairBarebakAssassincuntsiclesMarcusOreally__
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    Whatever happened to vodka flavored vodka?

    • 1,100
    • FAVS
    Andee_Stewartkrismith4PippersheenSCOOPISMSimfuckedanywaysOkhoVodkaseriouslysweetsweetg35
    • 371
    • RETWEETS
    imfuckedanywaysOkhoVodkaShettyONTHErunlovemyboots111tiReynardkaytaaA_Certain_AyresVeydomB
    DeanB15sameblackshoes1__
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    My wife was such a cock block at the bar last night.

    • 1,136
    • FAVS
    Andee_StewartNCB_SMKtayandmaeBusterGrabbimfuckedanywaysMind_fukkmelbelle127angel55533
    • 279
    • RETWEETS
    tayandmaeimfuckedanywaysMind_fukklovemyboots111Sickayduhninkie76Sizzla14TheBoydP
    101RaceyBlondiethegoodDoom_Jedi
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    I don't get out of the shower to pee..... in fact sometimes I pee in the shower even if I'm not in it.

    • 891
    • FAVS
    Andee_StewartCelebrityCheztayandmaeimfuckedanywayscarojacoubmelbelle127lovemyboots111tiReynard
    • 262
    • RETWEETS
    tayandmaeimfuckedanywaysJohnnyCanuck55melbelle127lovemyboots111Sickayduhsquirrel74wkgnfuzzlime
    ilgrandechuck1BigMicksiamonday
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    Hey young lady, talking like a whore will only get you so far on here...... eventually you're going to have to say something funny.

    • 821
    • FAVS
    Andee_StewartCelebrityCheztayandmaePippersheenimfuckedanywayslovemyboots111itspat78revious
    • 287
    • RETWEETS
    tayandmaeimfuckedanywayslovemyboots111HolidillSickayduhjoytoyu3bobbieleedan_jugz
    DionneMcNuttjamieramonejayonguitar
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    You better check yourself before it autocorrects it's self.

    • 818
    • FAVS
    Andee_Stewarttayandmaebadpatrick1Pippersheenimfuckedanywayslovemyboots111roadkill3xrevious
    • 251
    • RETWEETS
    tayandmaebadpatrick1PippersheenBigBellyKellyimfuckedanywayslovemyboots111SickayduhTheBoydP
    sporadicattackfifty_buds
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    Don't waste your time going to the library looking for books on suicide..... no one ever brings them back.

    • 764
    • FAVS
    Andee_StewarttayandmaePippersheenimfuckedanywaysTeejayRushNoHablaLocanakedlaughinglovemyboots111
    • 251
    • RETWEETS
    tayandmaeimfuckedanywaysTeejayRushNoHablaLocanakedlaughinglovemyboots111SickayduhTheBoydP
    circlejokesladyfiredancer
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    On twitter someone says they shit their pants or just jacked off, you follow them...... in real life you back the fuck away.

    • 772
    • FAVS
    Andee_StewartCelebrityCheztayandmaedivyeshkharvaPippersheenimfuckedanywayslovemyboots111tiReynard
    • 214
    • RETWEETS
    tayandmaedivyeshkharvaimfuckedanywayslovemyboots111scottbeairstoSickayduhTheBoydPzokobaby
    sgtblueeyes
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    I just caught my shadow doing that jerk off motion thing while I was explaining Twitter / Favstar to my wife.

    • 738
    • FAVS
    Andee_StewartBrianIncognitoAskAuntieEm1tayandmaePippersheenimfuckedanywaysMind_fukkmelbelle127
    • 149
    • RETWEETS
    AskAuntieEm1tayandmaeimfuckedanywaysMind_fukklovemyboots111scottbeairstoSickayduhPhil_Oshite
    JosesLovesYouSeanX3laurahapper______potatokingpinBry1972
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    Your kid's kids are going to laugh their asses off at the pics you took of yourself in the mirror.

    • 607
    • FAVS
    Andee_StewartCelebrityCheztayandmaeimfuckedanywaysStaceyWatfordMind_fukkKatarinaFolovemyboots111
    • 214
    • RETWEETS
    tayandmaeimfuckedanywaysStaceyWatfordMind_fukklovemyboots111SickayduhBuckeyeAnnie2TheBoydP
    Bryan_Swagger85
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    Tonight on Facebook - Nobody can wait for the weekend.

    • 650
    • FAVS
    Andee_StewartCelebrityChezBrianIncognitotayandmaeimfuckedanywaysDrMonicaQuezadalovemyboots111scottbeairsto
    • 147
    • RETWEETS
    tayandmaeimfuckedanywayslovemyboots111NoamanBSickayduhtaralea29__zokobabyFraggleRockL490
    BoyCalledAnn
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    I thought I saw a coyote in the yard tonight but I couldn't tell because it didnt have an anvil.

    • 608
    • FAVS
    Andee_Stewartimfuckedanywayslovemyboots111roadkill3xtiReynardninkie76sophia_be23BuyWithTy
    • 177
    • RETWEETS
    imfuckedanywayslovemyboots111RosbyMninkie76carlykentaralea29__zokobabyOhighIsis
    littlekitnerboygaliamangolemmywinkler______
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    I found a vibrating flash light in my wife's underwear drawer but I can't figure out where the bulb is.

    • 593
    • FAVS
    Andee_Stewarttpet57minnie_in_pink7imfuckedanywaysmelbelle127flee_flovemyboots111ninkie76
    • 122
    • RETWEETS
    minnie_in_pink7imfuckedanywayslovemyboots111LissabeanzTheBoydPtaralea29__zokobabyUh_Oooooo
    MarcusOreally__IamEveryDayPpl
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    Hey guy with no shirt on in his avi....... you're stepping in douche bag

    • 541
    • FAVS
    Andee_Stewartimfuckedanywayslovemyboots111tiReynardcarlykensingingdoves13AudiocatsTheBoydP
    • 105
    • RETWEETS
    imfuckedanywayslovemyboots111AudiocatsTheBoydPSims_was_herecaroline_umczokobabyWillie1derful
    bigmikeymike777
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