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  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    My favorite mythical creature is the happy bitches in tampon commercials.

    • 2,061
    • FAVS
    SteveSuckingtonjosiespauldinmmabarbie007iamchimazingabby_barefieldbriaatortillaaItsAlly_Thogreggoodman77
    • 1,279
    • RETWEETS
    josiespauldinbriaatortillaaItsAlly_ThoKingPauly_mrjohntofucaroline_umczombietansnolar_bear
    GroperClevelandUGotMeRightlakeanagirlTallerThanATreeJuan_GolbezzeCloeLola22aimeevc1970circlejokes
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    I just went to poop without my phone & had to entertain myself with a magazine like a god damned caveman.

    • 1,813
    • FAVS
    MHaedtboatdaughterbkeith64michaelmosca_LegallyErinmrjohntofuuseddreamsbrunette1970
    • 903
    • RETWEETS
    BINGBINGCELEBMsJennaMolitorboatdaughtermichaelmosca_mrjohntofuuseddreamsjdforshortMarvlouz
    NoorShammadannydogmouthJimmyTheThingCaptainObtusefifty_budsMothpete
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    If the devil was smart he would have challenged someone in a state less likely to have good fiddle players.... Like Rhode Island or Utah.

    • 1,625
    • FAVS
    roadkill3xLike_Guineverek_mulvey87kellyebyrneKimGraulmichaelmosca_mrjohntofuGrnjello
    • 900
    • RETWEETS
    kellyebyrnemrjohntofuCrazyJayney_jdforshortNatKingKoletonCallMeWhenSoberbrianburchett24suzebittersweet
    sentientsnorkelVikeeysSecret_Lindiscretion____hipchkkEFFFFFFYOU________littlekitnerboyjamieramonejayna_patriceManJuggsSaviorFreedomford414__________
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    I have a black belt in leather

    • 1,604
    • FAVS
    katyalexzanderdrakester64armyboi0911AidenMWoodsJaredRusselChampagneClimaxTr8ner69bradleynickle
    • 773
    • RETWEETS
    alnaz143sternRobLikesToYellJeezyOceansSchusterJaneSteveSuckingtonCandiceDaggerCmonPplNow
    DanKCharnleyJermHimselfishTheReal_AndyMacRummyLaudedWolfbaneMahler____
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    These generic frosted flakes are ooooooookay.

    • 1,592
    • FAVS
    michaelkarlikbipolarraccoonkatyalexzanderLucasThomeerCrystalMe5238rustystaplesHollyceHShawn_LC
    • 753
    • RETWEETS
    Libra_King73_tatersaladpatrick_mj8rustystaplesflyindutchmanntHollyceHShawn_LChv7JT
    Adam14lilgapeach30______palokinShakeItStaci__LuvPugC_J_Commode______Cpt_Burnoutbignas46UGotMeRightdeede311__________
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    It's hard telling how many Kleenex I've fathered.

    • 1,326
    • FAVS
    SteveSuckingtonroadkill3xMHaedtroeorrKimGraulmrjohntofuBabyFaceFormanbrianburchett24
    • 369
    • RETWEETS
    KingPauly_mrjohntofuJ_OHHHHHbrianburchett24RideSallyRide69Willie1derfulClassyHooliganaura_birdie
    SassyTxGirl83BillArrundaleDukeOfOyl________livingnBostondannydogmouthsarcazm2small_white______Mike_Wrong
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    It doesn’t matter how many bible verses you post on the Facebook it’s not going to wash away our memory of you being a whore in high school

    • 1,019
    • FAVS
    SteveSuckingtonWeeeneeMHaedtennuisuxSensedogHurricane_TimmyIsForrestGumpmrjohntofu
    • 598
    • RETWEETS
    charcmoss92Weeeneemikewellman1955Sensedogmrjohntofucaroline_umcHabbibtiweedfiend4life
    nossink__________NolaChef504JBelk78__________ReDHeaDeDTaRT____wickedmayfairBarebakAssassincuntsiclesMarcusOreally
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    Whatever happened to vodka flavored vodka?

    • 1,072
    • FAVS
    SteveSuckingtoncaroline_umcweedfiend4lifebrianburchett24FraggleRockL490suzebittersweetGlittery_LoveWillie1derful
    • 357
    • RETWEETS
    caroline_umcbrianburchett24radmndskacycattsuzebittersweet_haggisvinfurytrancemakadance
    DeanB15sameblackshoes1__
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    My wife was such a cock block at the bar last night.

    • 1,116
    • FAVS
    weedfiend4lifeAd_Girlysteamboatsalllybrianburchett24jess_strattonsuzebittersweetGlittery_LoveShaeAaron
    • 271
    • RETWEETS
    steamboatsalllybrianburchett24jess_strattonWillie1derfulvinfuryDionneMcNuttmentalsweatsSweetNSaucy10__
    101RaceyBlondiethegoodDoom_Jedi
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    I don't get out of the shower to pee..... in fact sometimes I pee in the shower even if I'm not in it.

    • 876
    • FAVS
    caroline_umcbrianburchett24FraggleRockL490suzebittersweetGlittery_LoveMajorzdeadShaeAaronWillie1derful
    • 253
    • RETWEETS
    fkcarscaroline_umctaralea29__brianburchett24FraggleRockL490Willie1derfulvinfuryRueBarb_
    ilgrandechuck1BigMicksiamonday
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    Hey young lady, talking like a whore will only get you so far on here...... eventually you're going to have to say something funny.

    • 803
    • FAVS
    ericaj1721____Tortilla_Nazibrianburchett24jess_strattonFraggleRockL490mvassallo70pugDNAsuzebittersweet
    • 275
    • RETWEETS
    SoVerySheritaralea29__brianburchett24suzebittersweetRideSallyRide69_UUNSPOKENN_Willie1derfulpandonenchev
    DionneMcNuttjamieramonejayonguitar
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    You better check yourself before it autocorrects it's self.

    • 804
    • FAVS
    brianburchett24suzebittersweetRideSallyRide69Glittery_LoveWillie1derfulNatKingKoletonBlaineBrucekDuncanG
    • 243
    • RETWEETS
    HavanaPaasbrianburchett24TajalithacaIvsy01BlaineBrucevinfuryDionneMcNuttTwitmytweeties
    sporadicattackfifty_buds
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    Don't waste your time going to the library looking for books on suicide..... no one ever brings them back.

    • 750
    • FAVS
    BabyFaceFormanbrianburchett24jess_strattonFraggleRockL490suzebittersweetrandomlady74meebshereRideSallyRide69
    • 243
    • RETWEETS
    brianburchett247moochieRideSallyRide69TantePollyAttilaTaktlosmisterpauseAiluqetWillie1derful
    circlejokesladyfiredancer
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    On twitter someone says they shit their pants or just jacked off, you follow them...... in real life you back the fuck away.

    • 759
    • FAVS
    brianburchett24jess_strattonFraggleRockL490SlyPinkspyAlice_cdcKittenMrowlpetiteunosuzebittersweet
    • 207
    • RETWEETS
    brianburchett24SlyPinkspysuzebittersweetRideSallyRide69bendymommyBlaineBruceDefective_JeanImABaconDonut
    sgtblueeyes
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    I just caught my shadow doing that jerk off motion thing while I was explaining Twitter / Favstar to my wife.

    • 722
    • FAVS
    GrnjelloolievlNatKingKoletonweedfiend4lifeHunnerGoMeowbrianburchett24jess_strattonFraggleRockL490
    • 140
    • RETWEETS
    brianburchett24Willie1derfulspeknycStupidSophia_isaaaaJosesLovesYouvinfuryleahlovescheez
    JosesLovesYouseanx3laurahapper______billymeetsworldBry1972
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    Your kid's kids are going to laugh their asses off at the pics you took of yourself in the mirror.

    • 592
    • FAVS
    HunnerGoMeowbrianburchett24FraggleRockL490suzebittersweetWillie1derfulBob_HellerBlaineBruce_haggis
    • 206
    • RETWEETS
    brianburchett24cassvincevinfurymentalsweatschristinawilderslotjunkieroseAlisonBFLYogaButterfly_
    Bryan_Swagger85
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    Tonight on Facebook - Nobody can wait for the weekend.

    • 637
    • FAVS
    fluffysafariThe_GetawayGirlTortilla_NaziSoVerySheribrianburchett24FraggleRockL490suzebittersweetWillie1derful
    • 142
    • RETWEETS
    taralea29__brianburchett24FraggleRockL490cassvincevinfuryBoobnish__________mostafa_baydounchristinawilder
    BoyCalledAnn
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    I thought I saw a coyote in the yard tonight but I couldn't tell because it didnt have an anvil.

    • 598
    • FAVS
    Grnjellobrianburchett24ShaeAaronOhighIsisWillie1derfuliwearaonesiebendymommyJosesLovesYou
    • 172
    • RETWEETS
    taralea29__brianburchett24OhighIsisWillie1derful_haggisMkjkfitzgeraldad_terroremVaDawn13
    littlekitnerboygaliamangolemmywinkler______
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    I found a vibrating flash light in my wife's underwear drawer but I can't figure out where the bulb is.

    • 582
    • FAVS
    ktemp__xobrianburchett24One_FineMessluvchil67Uh_OoooooRideSallyRide69Willie1derfulbendymommy
    • 117
    • RETWEETS
    taralea29__brianburchett24Uh_OoooooRideSallyRide69Willie1derfuldavrosvandrosjunejuly12titletown___
    MarcusOreallyIamEveryDayPpl
  • roadkill3x
      Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

    Hey guy with no shirt on in his avi....... you're stepping in douche bag

    • 533
    • FAVS
    Sims_was_herecaroline_umcbrianburchett24Willie1derfulMmmmMinnyskullpuppy11_haggisBoobnish__________
    • 101
    • RETWEETS
    Sims_was_herecaroline_umcbrianburchett24Willie1derfulskullpuppy11CheetoBandito77FroggieChikktitletown___
    bigmikeymike777
@roadkill3x

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