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Fucking fire alarm justbwent off. Someone was roasting marshmellows at 4am. WTF I got the chocolate.
I am in a committed loving relationship with my Netflix account.
This is the second time In the English building that someone has vomitted in tge stall next to me. English is vomit inducing.
It's tough changing sheets drunk.
Things that make me poop: weed & vyvance.
Starfish, it's like a stuffed deer but more beachy.
Pornstep. Who would've thought.
I want you to play the quiet game
The best way to put on a fitted sheet is in your lingerie.
has read JFK's inaugural address for the first time & is actually moved.
GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE.
So its gonna take forever for my vibram
Shoes to come in. Ugh.
#Audir8gt so sexy
Is currently working on her MRS Degree. I just want to be a tantalizing kinky Housewife.