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  • robcorddry
      rob corddry @robcorddry

    Gift @robcorddry Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 1,365
    • LIKES
    radie842alqumanayabjonfriedmansgtstrange__hex_incAma_k17HeyItsKamoAces_9
    • 722
    • RETWEETS
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  • robcorddry
      rob corddry @robcorddry

    My hero is Matthew McConaughey when he’s old enough to regret that speech

    • 779
    • LIKES
    tweetrajouharirachelaxlerSimonFraser4tomlegerivortossellnishadtrivediIhatewebcrawlerLiliana
    • 499
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  • robcorddry
      rob corddry @robcorddry

    Hot Tub Time Machine 2 comes out Christmas Day. Happy Birthday Jesus!

    • 399
    • LIKES
    SaraThomas84TheCombatNurseSlatedForRepairJesseThornsamgdfkevinmeyersTSSTaylorSeriousSanchez
    • 358
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  • robcorddry
      rob corddry @robcorddry

    IT IS ALMOST TIME! Season 7 of Childrens Hospital premieres TONIGHT at 11pm EST on ADULT SWIM. Can you dig it?

    • 588
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    timothybird186GlazerBooHooHoolocal_arsonistMentosAndColajudsonhurdDavidTheNativeFernieCommaAlexJacobSnakehole
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  • robcorddry
      rob corddry @robcorddry

    I just realized I’ve been blasting @anthonyjeselnik’s standup on my porch for an hour. I hope my neighbors like rape jokes #sonos

    • 452
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    • 110
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  • robcorddry
      rob corddry @robcorddry

    Hey hipsters. Thanks for making Bluegrass cool again. What really shitty thing are you going to pretend to like next?

    • 31
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    SaraThomas84CMinusFan4Sniper_Photobenudashenmacdrifterhamartophilejuzmia_genjestenson
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  • robcorddry
      rob corddry @robcorddry

    Was just told that #childrenshospital is not STREAMING on Netflix. Will work on that. In the meantime, just fucking steal it.

    • 85
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    • 432
    • RETWEETS
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  • robcorddry
      rob corddry @robcorddry

    If I wanted to see Ellen do a stand up routine I’d… I can’t think of a joke because I’d never want to see that.

    • 224
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    nishadtrivedithirstinhowelleleanorblAngryNYfanKarenSaysmuldoRuss_Amidoncousinwayne
    • 213
    • RETWEETS
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  • robcorddry
      rob corddry @robcorddry

    News flash: Instagram servers are down. Hot girls in front of mirrors left purposeless.

    • 26
    • LIKES
    SaraThomas84NeutrontrilogyJordardanandrewskiChrisKairoLeetAmericosalinamarie23MikeMellonz
    • 408
    • RETWEETS
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  • robcorddry
      rob corddry @robcorddry

    This epic defensive battle has served to remind us that the greatest quarterback of all time is Tom Brady.

    • 264
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    • 168
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  • robcorddry
      rob corddry @robcorddry

    My wife, telling the kids about our upcoming trip:
    We'll go see Elvis's house. You guys know who Elvis is?
    My 6 yr old: ELVIS DUMBLEDORE?!

    • 307
    • LIKES
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    • 109
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  • robcorddry
      rob corddry @robcorddry

    All in all, this was a pretty solid 9/11.

    • 41
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    • RETWEETS
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  • robcorddry
      rob corddry @robcorddry

    Good luck today to both the Green Bay Probably-Nots and the Washington Stubborn Racists.

    • 277
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    • 113
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  • robcorddry
      rob corddry @robcorddry

    The sound guy lost his mind when Darlene Love started singing.

    • 230
    • LIKES
    mayoknaveparkerandcooleyJasonCantu1mathowieRadworld4thecharliebakerJMUmontybeetkid
    • 158
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  • robcorddry
      rob corddry @robcorddry

    My nine year old daughter: "The second McDonalds hits my mouth it's like I've gone to hell." She's not a fan.

    • 292
    • LIKES
    LyraSmithmeganamramNotClayMerrittBurntHombreJoeCarnegiewhitneyteubsshanevaderAngryNYfan
    • 58
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  • robcorddry
      rob corddry @robcorddry

    Kim Novak had plastic surgery on her voice

    • 201
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    • 147
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  • robcorddry
      rob corddry @robcorddry

    If you check your phone while we’re talking, I will smack it out of your hand. Second offense? I light you and your family on fire.

    • 230
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    lostaprilLindaWalshsamjrockquibatahJosephFarleyMoosertonjenbosephmikeswaggner
    • 110
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  • robcorddry
      rob corddry @robcorddry

    Just heard that Tracy Morgan stole my "stabbing my gay son in the face" material". What a fag.

    • 54
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    • 286
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  • robcorddry
      rob corddry @robcorddry

    My life is exactly like Glee, minus the singing & dancing & high school and most of the gay stuff.

    • 18
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  • robcorddry
      rob corddry @robcorddry

    Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime. Give a kid a fish, it's gonna die. Have a story ready.

    • 84
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    • 242
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@robcorddry

@robcorddry

I am a gentleman

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