I love gay people. Or as I sometimes call them, "people."

NPR head resigns after calling Tea Party "racist." Tomorrow, NASA head to resign after calling space "big."

RT if you're fat & stupid

You've really got to hand it to short people. Because they often can't reach it.

Now that Facebook bought Instagram, "The Social Network 2" will have to be directed by Wes Anderson.

☆。★。☆。★
。☆ 。☆。☆
★。＼｜／。★
Herpes!
★。／｜＼。★
。☆。 。☆。
☆。 ★。 ☆”

The story of the Titanic speaks to me because I once tripped over a bag of ice at a party & then killed over 1,500 people.

Chinese babies must be like "Fuuuuuck…" when they realize they're gonna have to learn Chinese.

.@KimKardashian Are you enjoying the White House Correspondents Dinner? It makes total sense that you're there; no one is horrified.

Rick Perry & Michele Bachmann SCRAMBLING to find out who Kim Jong Il was.

guys calm down squirrels invented parkour

Probably the worst thing you can do to a person is leave them a voicemail.

What says "Date Rapist" louder, a man yelling "I'm a date rapist!" through a megaphone, or "TAPOUT" brand clothing?

This doesn't look like Scarlett Johansson to me: http://t.co/66RvqBR1

Porn star Sasha Grey reads to children while the NYPD throws books in the trash. Inhale that, America.

Every morning when my alarm goes off I think "This is the worst thing that has EVER happened."

I would still drop my baby off at Charlie Sheen's house for a month before I'd let Sarah Palin run a lemonade stand.

RIP Khaddafi. Also, RIP Qaddafi. And let us not forget: RIP Ghaddafi. And just to be safe, RIP Caddaphee.

Cats probably wouldn't need 9 lives if they wore tiny little helmets and didn't smoke cigarettes.

I heard a nurse's hand slipped & touched Cheney's original heart & she transformed into a spidergoat & ate 2 babies in the maternity ward.