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If your response to calls for gun control is “Should we get rid of cars too?” the answer is, for you, yes. You should not have a gun or car.
First Easter without Zayn :(
Wifi at my uncle's funeral is a fucking joke.
Racist gun enthusiasts: there could be black people hiding *inside your body* so please fire a gun up your asshole just to be safe.
People make fun of Ben Carson but he did brain surgery on me in 2006 and I'm here to say that potato chimcham luna pop canoe town fimpy.
As far as I’m concerned, the scariest thing to come out of the Muslim world is algebra.
What’s all the fuss about horse meat? Who gives a shit? I’ll eat a horse. I’ll eat your dog. I’ll eat your fucking family.
"Ha ha ha! Terrific!" - Mitt Romney, every time Jar Jar Binks appears on screen
Germany, relax! They're not Poland.
THE HOBBIT IS 14 HuRS LONG DESPITE WHAT THE ADS SAY THEY WONT LET US LEAVE MY WIFE WETTED HERSELF WE’RE ALL CREYING DOORS LOCKED FROM OUTSID
Crazy to think that the eyes you're reading this with will one day be ripped out of your head by a chimpanzee you thought you could trust.
They decided to call it "vaping" after "Diet cigarettes for Juggalos" didn't catch on.
UK • CATASTROPHE is on Tuesdays at 10pm on Channel 4. @SharonHorgan & I write it. US • Watch season 1 on Amazon: http://amzn.to/1SpnBnX
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