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  • robertb285
      Bobby B @robertb285

    Million dollar idea, powdered water, no need to carry around heavy bottles of water. Just mix the powder with water and you'll have water.

    • 105
    • FAVS
    mikeym00nMickeyFlemdogtigersgoroooarhologramrudieitsmeitsmedevinGinlicker________WitMasterBZwolf666
    • 34
    • RETWEETS
    MickeyFlemdognereserendipityfavstar1000favszapAttack_MsDoe111MDtownBoogiechelseaphlegmkaratopz
    TheComedyStoreNowAPisces
  • robertb285
      Bobby B @robertb285

    My Mother and I where talking about Twitter,
    and I was trying to explain to her how famous I am to 15 people.

    • 125
    • FAVS
    ThePopTartJesusGinlicker________NickadooZwolf666Bunnydurdenziuqrdknotta_tardfanManicDeep__
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    zapAttack_T_canFrostGlittermepink5____mediumrarelamb____favstar1000favsCpez38MeBandido________livingnBoston
  • robertb285
      Bobby B @robertb285

    Guys that brag about having a big dick, usually don't have a big dick, unless they actualy have a big dick like me.

    • 112
    • FAVS
    tigersgoroooarGinlicker________WitMasterBZwolf666JohnnyObscurity__ziuqrdknotta_tardfanChelseaK22
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    TheLaughBanklivingnBostonReaganomics_inc__
  • robertb285
      Bobby B @robertb285

    There are children in Africa that have to poop without playing angry birds.

    • 73
    • FAVS
    tigersgoroooarGinlicker________WitMasterBHormonellaNickadooZwolf666ziuqrdknotta_tardfan
    • 18
    • RETWEETS
    jwharveycrazycurlygalImSoJuliaaltaconaSwavocadoFavstar500Favsnialldavfavstar_pop
  • robertb285
      Bobby B @robertb285

    Whoa! I think I'm in an parallel universe where everything smells like vagina, Wait! no, it's just a small piece of tuna on my lip

    • 85
    • FAVS
    Ginlicker________HormonellaZwolf666ziuqrdTheBookofTweetknotta_tardfanIm_Triciamlinhart
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    livingnBostonOMRELLIUG811______
    knotta_tardfan
  • robertb285
      Bobby B @robertb285

    There should be a indicator light on cars for when the driver has to shit real bad.

    • 67
    • FAVS
    Ginlicker________brownpoopypantsHormonellaZwolf666JohnnyObscurity__MkWisnieziuqrdknotta_tardfan
    • 18
    • RETWEETS
    brownpoopypantsAJPascucci1ltaconawRitetrash________SwavocadoqilagomDBhonduTheDevilesh
  • robertb285
      Bobby B @robertb285

    Yesterday at the pharmacy I used the free penis squeezer machine, I have no idea what 120/80 means but that shit felt great.

    • 65
    • FAVS
    tigersgoroooarGinlicker________BoucheDag2kbrownpoopypantsZwolf666MkWisnieziuqrdtimisnuts
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    brownpoopypantsFavstar500FavslivingnBostonstephanieovoxoboner_boy__stealthy9favstar_popbillysmaash
  • robertb285
      Bobby B @robertb285

    If your not careful, ghost's can fly up your dick hole when your sleeping, that's why I wear one of those little round bandaids over it

    • 70
    • FAVS
    tigersgoroooarGinlicker________HormonellaZwolf666ziuqrdSwavocadoIm_Triciaghostofdreams
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    tinsomniak__The_PhoenixHope__WTF_RTsispypandafrostbyte987livingnBoston
  • robertb285
      Bobby B @robertb285

    If I had a superpower it would be the ability to fuck anyone's sister.

    • 69
    • FAVS
    Ginlicker________ziuqrdIm_Triciamlinhartstarmushroomseddsthetics______Cpez38SuperEd86
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    livingnBostonFavstar500Favs
  • robertb285
      Bobby B @robertb285

    Before twitter I would just write jokes on rocks and leave them by the river.

    • 46
    • FAVS
    NakedRNJuliimonstertenleyjaydearestrobbie____SweetTweetsBROkaleyjane_KristenPierceymollyelwood
    • 24
    • RETWEETS
    Honestly_BrobontravoltaMarcusWilkermarcusalundmollyelwoodjpuncholoRUFLNGkelseyramsay
  • robertb285
      Bobby B @robertb285

    My Grandfather's out going voice mail greeting is him saying "leave a message" then a clunk noise followed by half an episode of Gunsmoke.

    • 48
    • FAVS
    godigaholeBoucheDag2kOneCharmingPigloganbryonefasheefaa________VisceralMelkit7starsSEAempire
    • 21
    • RETWEETS
    BoucheDag2kfuckcolbymartinXZACHMATHEWSXgropious3KrisShiflerCatHereinRIKLSouthNoPovertyPimps
  • robertb285
      Bobby B @robertb285

    If you think global warming is bad now, just wait until all those Eskimo turds start thawing out.

    • 49
    • FAVS
    DickBurns69Chetz331NakedRNBigRedKrautJuliimonsterAkshon_BastardLeGozerBananaDolphin
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    Akshon_BastardO_I_SayLeGozerWAThomasanbayanyayDonSchankeits_spillertime__gonzobigd
  • robertb285
      Bobby B @robertb285

    I can still remember the time my Dad caught me sucking a dick. To punish me He took me out back and made me suck a whole pack of Dick's

    • 60
    • FAVS
    suckingjustin_HormonellaZwolf666ziuqrdIm_Triciafrostbyte987JeffFuckinSaysCpez38
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    livingnBostonDavidsAlterEgoparker287
  • robertb285
      Bobby B @robertb285

    Foods before dudes. The fat girl motto.

    • 51
    • FAVS
    EastsideRJHormonellajLloydPee__morbid_squirrelScruffDaddy_knotta_tardfanExoticDaazemarcusbellah
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    Denzel_GillsFavstar500FavsHood_IdeaStyfe221mar_ee_ahfrostbyte987JuiBoi__kdeezy28
  • robertb285
      Bobby B @robertb285

    Hey Mexican girls, stop it with the eyebrows. I mean it.

    • 53
    • FAVS
    ziuqrdknotta_tardfanCpez38SuperEd86bontravoltaJaxStarNYCDJSLEAZYOtisPdQ
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar500FavscoldlippdheresyragekatExodus_1831livingnBostonBeastInfectionjwo_chicagoparker287
  • robertb285
      Bobby B @robertb285

    British Columbia sounds like a place where you can get tea and crumpets and cocaine.

    • 34
    • FAVS
    DickBurns69parker287mish_bishBigRedKrautJuliimonsterC_Berry3000beckifoo__________brzandt
    • 27
    • RETWEETS
    BigRedKrautbeckifoo__________MyWhiteBikeaweeezzyyChowChow31lyshh_bdeneke_leveniaMsNanny1
  • robertb285
      Bobby B @robertb285

    Settle the fuck down already, it's not Butter.

    • 58
    • FAVS
    llvvzzHormonellafrostbyte987AMYEBUGCpez38DavidsAlterEgoSnarkToastPokersoul________
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar500Favswhitekc
  • robertb285
      Bobby B @robertb285

    Freedom is not free, so if a soldier returning from war wants to grab your titty just shut up and take it.

    • 38
    • FAVS
    TheSVTJIm_TriciamlinhartCheckydWonderboofJaxStarNYCcattmalabontravolta
    • 10
    • RETWEETS
    cano26TheSVTJGioCopter__josephdantesBoucheDag2kkmtadbChiChiRules4UMichaelTTU
  • robertb285
      Bobby B @robertb285

    I like my coffee like I like my women, no pubic hair

    • 43
    • FAVS
    JihadPizzaMkWisnieIm_TriciamlinhartDavidsAlterEgobontravoltatoadymchopperricbuddy
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    jdb0417syke2727mcjoocebawksSilencedVerse____bentrushmore
  • robertb285
      Bobby B @robertb285

    Fat people get all fucking serious around ice cream.

    • 37
    • FAVS
    Im_Triciamlinhartleesmf____________Checkydiamsaltlakeray12a____________JaxStarNYCcattmala
    • 10
    • RETWEETS
    CheckydNickRexumeyeamsickDJSpiderfaceLeRoiSUGARDJCreepysPantsPibularCtotheASS
@robertb285

@robertb285

Before twitter I would just write jokes on rocks and leave them by the river.