Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Here's why signing in is good for you.
I can tell by the size of your babys head that I'm going to have to put it in your butt.
I'm sorry for my lack of quality tweets this week,
I promise I'll get some better weed.
Million dollar idea, powdered water, no need to carry around heavy bottles of water. Just mix the powder with water and you'll have water.
My Mother and I where talking about Twitter,
and I was trying to explain to her how famous I am to 15 people.
I am a real house cat. After I take a bong-hit I SWEAR I can type in English for about 60 secmeow meow meow meow meow.
Guys that brag about having a big dick, usually don't have a big dick, unless they actualy have a big dick like me.
I don't have money for weed, so I'm just going to get up from the couch really fast, over and over.
Whoa! I think I'm in an parallel universe where everything smells like vagina, Wait! no, it's just a small piece of tuna on my lip
Anyone interested in buying a slightly used sex robot,
Ok, it's really just a dead dog wraped in tin foil.
There should be a indicator light on cars for when the driver has to shit real bad.
Yesterday at the pharmacy I used the free penis squeezer machine, I have no idea what 120/80 means but that shit felt great.
If your not careful, ghost's can fly up your dick hole when your sleeping, that's why I wear one of those little round bandaids over it
Hey girls, if a guy tells you, "things are moving a little to fast", that means he thinks your tits look weird.
My Grandfather's out going voice mail greeting is him saying "leave a message" then a clunk noise followed by half an episode of Gunsmoke.
I just saw DEVO perform on
Regis & Kelly. Come on guys,
it's just starting to be cool to be White again,
Don't fuck this up for us.
Before twitter I would just write jokes on rocks and leave them by the river.
