I should have known things wouldn't have worked out with the ex-wife. I'm a Sagittarius and she's a bitch

Do pinky swears hold up in court?

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

Life is too short to remove thumb drives safely

This is that special time of year when we use those 3 words to show people we care for them.... "Made in China"

This otter looks like Tracy Morgan, amirite? http://t.co/TVZtCnd0

I don't understand how we can go to the moon and decode the human genome, but can't delete a printing job from the queue

Salemia is coming to an internet near you soon #Salemia http://t.co/7DDOyC0k

Mariners are trying out a bold new strategy where any play at first requires you to drop the ball

Start iTunes, wait 30 minutes, then it should be ready to go

My cat smells like corn chips. Please RT

Let's see a show of hands... Who's going to Cinebarre tonight to watch Downton Abbey?

Casey Movers Threatens To Sue Me Over Bad Review  http://www.1918.com/casey-movers-threatens-lawsuit-over-bad-yelp-review/ …

Down at the Saturday Market they have blackberries the size of squirrel heads

There's a guy at the market making smoothies with cane, as in sugar cane. It's to die for

@perronbrothers I think "social media expert" is just a fancy way of saying you are unemployed and have a blog

Sometimes I'm tempted to give up all this social media crap and go to myspace

If they start adding "Sign in with facebook" to the voting machines, I'm going to quit this planet

You're never too old to start blogging http://bit.ly/qu3fqy Some good points here

Comcast Bans Seattle Man From Internet for His Cloudy Ways | Epicenter | Wired.com http://t.co/lse6uM6