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woah did you know if u start metallica's master of puppets exactly 1 min 21 sec into paul blart mall cop the girl i invited over will leave
yo fellas how did that "wow" comment you left on that girls facebook picture last year play out
sick of these pseudo "hipsters" in their abercrombie & fitch shirts who probly can't even name one abercrombie & fitch album
don't hate robert altman's 1992 satirical comedy "the player" hate david fincher's 1997 psychological thriller "the game"
[swipes debit card] *would you like cash back?* yes [gazes at photo in wallet of steve jobs johnny cash & bob hope, whispers] yes i would
i always say "happy holidays" just in case you celebrate toyotathon instead of honda days
football am i right. love that sport. linebacker. ok now that chicks have stopped reading fellas i cut my sack shaving how do stop bleeding
i am so confused by the ending of donnie darko. what the FUCK is a "key grip"
URGENT: IF YOU INSTAGRAM YOUR BALLOT DO NOT USE 1977 FILTER OR YOU WILL CAST VOTE FOR CARTER/MONDALE
i dare you to comment "you two look great" on a picture of three girls today
i sure listen to a lot of wu tang clan for someone who cried during jim & pam's wedding
budweiser has made me puke in a washing machine but yeah, sure, clydesdales and puppies
i like my women like i like my coffee: all over my crotch mere seconds after being picked up at the arby's drive-thru
every time someone posts engagement photos on facebook i can't help but hope that maybe some day i too will own a nice shirt
i think my sense of clothing could best be described as "just on my way to return a redbox"
i just heard a girl yell "he got ME that pf changs gift card you slut" and punch some girl in the face this is the best night of my life