woah did you know if u start metallica's master of puppets exactly 1 min 21 sec into paul blart mall cop the girl i invited over will leave

don't hate robert altman's 1992 satirical comedy "the player" hate david fincher's 1997 psychological thriller "the game"

URGENT: IF YOU INSTAGRAM YOUR BALLOT DO NOT USE 1977 FILTER OR YOU WILL CAST VOTE FOR CARTER/MONDALE

[swipes debit card] *would you like cash back?* yes [gazes at photo in wallet of steve jobs johnny cash & bob hope, whispers] yes i would

wow it has been 10 years since the day marty traveled to in back to the future pic.twitter.com/xBVUeWRDqY

sick of these pseudo "hipsters" in their abercrombie & fitch shirts who probly can't even name one abercrombie & fitch album

old shoes had them for 3 yeares http://t.co/3dL4zH6R

i like my women like i like my coffee: all over my crotch mere seconds after being picked up at the arby's drive-thru

this weather is so hot i wouldn't be surprised if it told me what a great friend i am

WAKA, IT'S MARVIN. YOUR COUSIN, MARVIN FLOCKA FLAME.

got him! 20 long hours later, but finally got that motherfucker. let that be a lesson to any other ladybugs that come into my room

i always say "happy holidays" just in case you celebrate toyotathon instead of honda days

martin looper king conspiracists speculate mlk was in fact shot by his younger self

it's GWEN STEFANI - RICH GIRL (FEAT. EVE) not GWEN STEFANI - RICH GIRL (FEAT. STEVE)

damn girl u an astronaut? cuz that body is out of this world ;-) also couldnt help but notice u shitting into a bag

hey if ur having an event nowhere near where i live dont forget 2 shoot me a facebook invite

nothing can possibly go wrong this yeaf

YEAH DUDE CAPITALIZE ON A BAKED BEANS RECIPE NOT THE FACT YOU ARE A TALKING DOG

i think at 4 paranormal activitys you can go ahead and call them normal activitys

lol good thing jan brady's older sister wasn't named beetlejuice