Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Ugly Christmas sweaters have never been cool you losers.
I just starred a football tweet. GUYS!! This means I love football. GOD DAMN IT WHY WONT ANY OF YOU LOVE ME.
When I see women playing sports I’m reminded of how shitty women are at playing sports.
Hey guys, I’m bored in the ER. Come keep me company. Bring your prescription meds and food. No ugmos. No skanks. No cops. Por favor.
*carries a watermelon into a swell dirty dancing party*
Y’all are bunches of idiots.
I’m a Canadiamerican, which basically means I think I’m better than you but I apologize for it.
You’re a supervisor at McDonald’s? That’s hot.
I is want 2 tutch ur bonurr
I accidentally dressed like a hippie again today.
Please don’t post pictures of you and your boyfriend kissing. It’s very disturbing.
If any of you assholes make a joke about Paul Walker I will hit you in the face with bricks until you’re dead.
Thanks for giving me that riveting tour of your house even though I didn’t ask for it, fuckin’ loser.
If Benjamin were an ice cream flavor he'd be pralines and dick.