Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I feel like New York “Giants” is politically incorrect and very offensive to those midget things.
Americans talk funny.
God created everyone equal, then he put a dick on the stupid ones.
Make a Wish Foundation but for sexual fantasies and snacks.
I’m re-enacting Titanic today, I’m at the part where Rose is naked on the couch eating Corn Flakes and watching Storage Wars.
I wanted to have sex with Uma Thurman until I saw her toes in Kill Bill.
Just realized I haven’t checked my blind spot in almost 9 years.
I'm not conceited, I actually have a low self-esteem for someone with a perfect set of tits and flawless cheekbones.
Watching Rocky III. It's difficult staying aroused during the scene where Mick dies. Not impossible though.
Hey Americans, I dare you to keep making jokes about Canadians, see what fucking happens (nothing will happen, we hate conflicts. Sorry)!
So cellybate I can't even spell it anymore.
I hate your cat.
I don't know why guys love anal. My ass is an exit only. Unless I'm drunk. Or he's rich. Or cute. Or has all his teeth.
🎶 How do I live without you, I want to know, how do I breathe without yooooou🎶ohh never mind, I figured it out.
I don’t need Foursquare to tell me I’m the mayor of Sexytown.
Viagra commercials make me want to go into the wilderness with men who have erectile dysfunction and help them get their fuck-tents up.
Sometimes karma FINALLY catches up with people and it’s fucking hilarious.
Adopted an old person today. Decided to take her to the mall with me, is there a time limit for how long I can leave her in the car?
For how often you guys probably do it, you should know how to spell “masturbate” correctly by now, dumb fucking losers.
I only have sex with Leafs fans and people whose names are Mark Wahlberg.