Fewer women would fake orgasms if fewer men faked foreplay.

Tattoos on women say to me, "This is MY body and I'll do with it whatever I like....and I like to fuck."

I GOT A DIG BICK! You that read wrong. You read that wrong too.

Better line: When I look into your eyes, I see myself in you.

@morganj7 You're funny. I want to fuck you.

twitter is the mecca of existential humor from people who don't even know what the fuck that is.

If you're waiting for the second coming of Christ, just think how Christ feels.

@imalilfrazy @lilredridngwood You scream, I cream, we all cream when you scream!

If you're going to show us your pussy, make it your cunt and not your cat.

An ounce of pussy is worth a ton of tease.

What if all inhibitions were removed and all we had to do to fuck each other was to feel the attraction? How would that work for you?

Nancy Grace lands a spot on Dancing with the Stars! Could television be more cruel to a nation starving for class???

Lindsay Lohan is morphing into Courtney Love right before our eyes. The suck power on that sewer pipe must be really strong.

twitter highlights: at least fantasy sex is safe sex

twitter feels like one huge hangover today

The thing I like about women who make me laugh....is I know it would be fun to fuck them.

When someone uses upper case letter for a big long tweet, my eyes glaze over and I think, "FUCK OFF LOSER."

Fuck! Jersey Shore is still there!!

I feel like I'm the only one up in a twitter wasteland. Wake the fuck up someone. It's boring without your depraved fucking mind droppings.

Point A, meet Point Fucking B.