I'm hooking up with Shane Oman in the projection room above the auditorium.

Study study study eat eat eat eat sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep #college

"You're paying over $1,000 a year in order to have a friend." -my roommate on sororities

Phelps represents all that is good: winning and weed

National Honor Society

RT 4 a FREE IPHONE 5! This iz naht a sc@m!!!! Only 300 left!

My R.A. is listening to Nickelback in the shower :D can't wait to transfer schools!

And then Max Shipman got an iPhone.

Question- why does LCHS compliments exist and how do we kill it?

Sam is sleeping during LotR. He's reached a new low.

@ooooooooooos u got it gurl pic.twitter.com/Htw0PEuT

ANOTHER black president?¿!! :O

Somewhere, Coach Campbell is passed out and hooked up to an I.V. of Mountain Dew, but congrats to Tuscarora xc!

I still don't give a fuq about high school and so can you

My tweets last night were Allen Ickes level of bad. I apologize. There is barely enough room for one of those in this world, let alone two.

@chloepassarello max fields: fuck you and don't ever take my name again without my permission you little shit.

After my two month hiatus, I feel like all of twitter is an inside joke that I'm awkwardly laughing at while everyone stares in disgust.

#ImNotAVegetarian #LastMeatLoverLeftStanding #GoMeat #🍗🍔🐄🐓

Waiting for this damn stripper to come out of my pumpkin pie already

"The meal isn't over when I'm full, it's over when I hate myself." -Louie CK