U.S. House of Representatives votes to de-fund public broadcasting. The savings will be spent on flat globes for science education.

The Hobbit was rated PG13 for too much earth-tone colors, tin-whistle music, non-canonical plot devices and poorly maintained wooden bridges

Production still from the upcoming ANATHEM movie:  http://bit.ly/154jpVZ  #Analemma #DabanUrnud #NotReallyAMovie

"Apparently I am what's known as an Unreliable Narrator, tho of course if you believe everything you're told, you deserve whatever you get."

2010: The Year We Didn't Fucking Make Contact

OK, unless you have drunk elk blood from the hollowed-out femur of a bear, I want to hear precisely jack-shit about your Spirit Animal.

Public school art teacher to #TCOT trolls: "Life did not work out as you planned and you're now a bitter little turd." http://t.co/EUxU4MWN

Just saw 1 box of Tw__kies (not adding to that trending topic) go on eBay for $36 plus shipping. WE HAVE TURNED OUR BACKS ON GOD

Newly literate Ethiopian kids hack tablets under "Nell's" tutelage (Yes, THAT Nell, as in The Diamond Age)  http://bit.ly/XYsuJn  #primer

Americans must now begin the arduous process of apologizing to everyone else in the whole fucking world for falling to pieces over Twinkies.

#IRS SCORES: Assholes 4 Liberty[✖]…Jesus Luvs Guns[✖]…Pussies Whining 4 Justice[✔]…God Hates "Science"[✖]…Lil Fuckups[✔]…RISKplayas [pendng]

Know anyone who designs those corporate online job application forms? Would you mind asking them to swallow a box of fish hooks for me?

At a job interview today, the mgr thought I had too much experience. "True" I said "but I don't remember most of it."

Whenever someone asks you to proofread something important, wait a minute then slowly ask "Isn't 'urine soaked' supposed to be hyphenated?"

Asking the subject to choose between Kansas and Journey makes for a surprisingly accurate Turing Test.

Odd, that those most paranoid about Muslim sharia law in US mediations are also most likely to agree with trad Levantine views toward women.

Have you crossed the "World Stream of the Mountain of Mountains"? Etymologically re-translated world map.  http://i.imgur.com/fKHlK.jpg  via @mtezna

Well, my login attempt may not have been "successful," but it WILL be soon enough. Meanwhile your GUI will still be ugly, bitter and alone.

Attn chickens: 70m years ago you were 20' tall killing machines. Don't blame your fall on a comet. IT'S BECAUSE YOU SHIT IN YOUR WATER BOWLS

Learn about Opposites! Drinking Bombay martini w/a tsp of vermouth & 2 olives is the OPPOSITE of cleaning up someone's long, bad Powerpoint