“Wait, what happened? I missed the beginning of this. What’s everyone talking about?” — me on Twitter every day.

@padraig Being mentioned in 51% of Superbowl commercials would be slightly more mass market. Not clear how to get more mass market than that

If Twitter have reset my password and invalidated my session tokens, like their email said, how have I posted this?

I take back my memorialising of Patrick Moore. He was apparently a misogynist and a homophobe.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patrick_Moore#Activism_and_political_beliefs …

@matthewbaldwin That song was specifically in aid of Ethiopia, a predominantly Christian country.

Who has two thumbs and doesn't realise visual jokes don't work if you can't see him? This guy!

I’m the octomom of food babies.

Decided I could deal with instability, so installed iOS 6 on my iPhone 4. Now have an iPhone-shaped brick. That’s actually perfectly stable.

Aww crap MT:@waxpancake: Jay Leno aired YouTube video, then Content ID blocked original for infringing the Tonight Show http://t.co/cfSr6QXL

So, how is everyone in Ireland right now? I'm in a pub drinking alcohol, which I must say is a little nicer than Catholic oppression.

Saw a guy on the tube today following @danielpunkass and @cabel, but using a Galaxy Nexus. What's the probability that he was a Googler?

@padraig What happens on Twitter stays on Twitter. That's a thing, right? Oh God I hope that's a thing.

Morality and grammar are the same: you do whatever feels right to you, and only resort to rules to prove someone else is wrong.

Someone mixed Corn Flakes in with the Special K. This is the worst thing that's ever happened to anyone.

I keep forgetting Christian Bale is still alive.

You’ve reached the Rory hotline. Here are some words that rhyme with Rory: gory, story, allegory, Montessori…

LOL. From LinkedIn: “Does Simon Stewart know about Selenium?” Yeah, I get the impression he does.

/cc @shs96c

I should have just gone to bed without looking at Twitter. :/

Holy shit! Bron from Game of Thrones is Jerome from Robson and Jerome. Did everyone else but me already know this!?  http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jerome_Flynn …

My plan for dinner was to try a new recipe, screw it up completely, and resort to yesterday's leftovers. Nailed it.