H&M should do an S&M collection. (affordable pleather basics)

I wonder if the guys from Whose Line Is It Anyway? ever did coke together?

If I had a bakery I would sell slices of pie for $3.14.

My mind is tellin me eight, but my boodddy, my body is tellin me niiinneee (just a song about daylight savings to the tune of Bump & Grind)

Neon clothing :-(

24/7/365 pussy stays on my mind

Babies are the new people

@sundelles made this for you http://t.co/95rHSnvp

Ombré was the new highlights, now pastel hair is the new ombré

My brother is driving to Hemet.....to get a kitten....off of Craigslist.....right now. Pray 4 him.

I straightened my hair so now I'm in a bad mood.

Know what's waaaay worse than leggings as pants? Tights as leggings as pants.

Can chubby people not hear music?

I'm prettttttty sure you still get brownie points with the man upstairs even if your Internet friends don't know about your good deeds.

There is nothing more important than taking my pants off when I get home

Know what's worse than living next to someone who plays the trumpet? Living next to someone who is learning how to play the trumpet.

The best sour gummy worms are half red and half blue I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT YOU SAY

You know how one human year is like seven dog years? I think the same rules apply to regular time vs time spent in urgent care.

"I used to drive by Muhammad Ali's house every day and I saw him mow his lawn sometimes. I respected him for that." #frank

In n Out, noooooo :-(  http://lockerz.com/s/259699141